The age-old question: Why do fellas like battering the heads off each other?

At school, there was nothing quite like fight day, writes Tommy Martin.

The talk would do the rounds for weeks beforehand. This guy and that guy were going to fight, it was going to happen, they were going to sort it out once and for all. Sort what out? Who knew? A girl, a smart comment, a fundamental disagreement about Pythagorian theory?

Pretty often there was no problem at all, other than the fact that two rutting stags needed to lock antlers.