Switched-on captains tick all right boxes

Rule number one for the Ryder Cup opening ceremony: Don’t fall over when leading your team up to the stage.

Rule number two: Get your players’ names right.

The usual hotchpotch of kitsch mixed with pomp and circumstance that is the first official sight of Europe and the United States of America face to face didn’t produce any winners or losers on Gleneagles’ pitch and putt course, unless you count Paul McGinley — that stickler for detail — remembering to mention the European caddies.