A new beginning

Padraig Harrington

Strange thing to say, I suppose, considering we’re well into the month of August but I think people will understand what I mean.

My dad’s death, when it came, was for the best because he had been suffering for some time, and to be honest, I have felt a little down ever since.

He and I were very close and it was good to know that he was very comfortable in his passing. He had no issue with that at all and that made it easier for every member of the family. He had amazing faith and he proved how important that is. I was always learning from dad and I learned an awful lot from his death. It has left a lasting impression. I was always very proud of him and that will never change.

So now, I’m at Baltusrol for the last major of the year and I must say I have no expectations where winning the US PGA is concerned. Ronan had been in the States on holiday for two weeks and arrived here on Saturday. He’s had a look at the course and it’s pretty much as we expected, although I’m going out for a first look for myself later today with Paul McGinley and Jose-Maria Olazabal.

People have been as nice as they always are since I got here. The volunteers in the locker room are nearly all Irish and appear to be rooting for me already. And with New York not much more than a half-hour away, it looks like I’ll have the kind of support that made the US Open at Bethpage Park a few years ago such a memorable occasion. They all like to shout out my name as if to prove to the others that they can pronounce Padraig properly.

I have recovered from all the trauma of dad’s death but my body hasn’t. My nervous system is down and I’m nowhere as sharp as I’d like to be. That could change overnight, but if it doesn’t, then it would stop me from winning and I’d be fighting to make the cut and finishing 20th or somewhere like that. Dad was always in good form when I called on him but it was affecting me under the surface. What I’m concentrating on is getting plenty of sleep and letting my system come back in its own time.

It’s good I’m aware of that. I realise I must be patient and mustn’t try to force anything. I haven’t played any competitive golf in three weeks and I’ve never been so flat as I was when I played the Deutsche Bank TPC the week after dad died. I was beating myself up but it’s impossible to perform when there’s nothing in the tank. The reality is that it could take a few weeks or even months before things get back to normal.

If it takes a long time, I won’t let it bother me because, as I’ve said before, I wouldn’t mind taking the rest of the year off because it’s been that kind of year. This week may be just a start, but hopefully the NEC World Championship next week should be a bit better and maybe I’ll be back to playing golf by the time the BMW in Germany comes around. I’ll just take it as I find it and not try to do anything differently.

It would have been a terrible year so far without those two wins in America. There is no way of analysing the first six months and it might be the same for the next six. I’m hopeful of playing well but if I don’t, then I won’t be banging my head against a wall. My problem is I go out and hit a driver perfectly. It should travel, say, 330 yards, but the way I’m at the moment, it’s 15 yards short of that. If I went to lift weights, I wouldn’t be able to lift the same weights if I was good. I don’t feel it, I feel fine. I can’t tell when I get up in the morning, you can only measure it. It has been such an emotional roller coaster.

It’s interesting to look at the way my last three wins have come. They were all against the odds. I was five behind Graeme McDowell with 10 to play in the German Masters and won by three or four in the end. The week after that was the Ryder Cup. Very nice memories to have.

There would have been no Honda Classic if Vijay had holed a 12-foot putt on the first tie hole. And then there was the finish to the Westchester and how I caught Jim Furyk and then sank that outrageous eagle putt on the 18th. In truth, though, my game hasn’t shown the consistency of the previous 18 months, when I was getting into contention whenever I was playing well.

The difference is that I now have the confidence to finish the job when I get a chance to win because of my experience of losing and winning.

Nor would I have a preference for winning coming from behind. You take what comes your way. I’ve had my breaks and other people have helped me, as others have done things to me. I’ve given some tournaments away and people have given them to me. It’s all swings and roundabouts.

I’m not expecting too many shocks this week. I knew nothing about the course coming here except that it would be long and tight and there’s nothing new in that. It will be a standard US course, it won’t be as severe as a US Open venue and is akin to what we’re used to. Apart from not playing a hole of golf since Germany, I’ve been over to Scotland to see my coach Bob Torrance, and worked in the gym and on my putting.

It’s great to be able to do that in the comfort of my own backyard. The week before I went to Congressional for the Barclays and the US Open, I had my green outside the hall door up to 13 on the stimpmeter. I can get it as fast as I want. The green itself is as good as any you’ll find anywhere. I also allowed the grass around the green to grow higher than usual to get ready for what I knew lay in wait in the States and worked on my chipping in preparation for this week.

But as I’ve pointed out already, there is no sense of expectation. It’s like the start of another season and it usually takes time to play myself into form. Neither Caroline nor any other member of the family is here. Next week, Ronan and I move on to Akron for the NEC World Championship and that’s what I call “cinema week”. We go from the hotel to the TGI Friday’s next door and after that to the cinema further down the street. I’d say I’ll see five or six movies in as many days.