The Box Seat: Pat Spillane is happy. Told you it was going to be a historic day
One way or another it’s going to be a historic day. Either the Five in a Row or 1982 Revisited. The RTÉ panel are so giddy they appear to be groping one another. You read that correctly.
Admittedly we can’t see this because the camera is on the players warming up at Croke Park. But Joe Brolly is spieling about potential problems for Kerry, specifically the fear of being made look bad by Dublin, “the fear the roof can cave in at any moment”, and is in full flow when he’s forced to break off.
“Let me finish,” he tells Pat Spillane and not either. “Stop patting me!” Ulp.
Undeterred, Pat goes from clutching Joe to — seemingly — clutching at straws. All roads lead back to ’82 and what happened Kerry then might, he speculates, happen Dublin today.
“Twenty minutes to go, four points up, loads of experience — and fear subsumed us. It was contagious. Fellas retreated into defence who’d never defended before.”
The mind can play huge tricks, he continues. Look at Rory McIlroy at the first hole at The Open. Knows Royal Portrush blindfolded, but ends up with a double bogey. “Pressure can do strange things.”
Hmmm. Maybe Pat isn’t clutching at straws after all.
They discuss the matchups. Ciarán Whelan points out that Brian Howard hasn’t featured in any conversation in this regard. Donald Rumsfeld and his knowns and unknowns are cited, with Pat raising the possible influence of the sin bin and injuries. But even he, proud son of the Kingdom that he is, can’t bring himself to go for Kerry. “Great teams can overcome the unknown unknowns.”
Over to the commentary box. How many matchups do teams need to get right when they’re facing Dublin, Ger Canning muses. “Seven or eight?”
Our analysts are somewhat divided on Jonny Cooper's second yellow card. Live on @RTE2 now. pic.twitter.com/i1xqnHoKFX
— The Sunday Game (@TheSundayGame) September 1, 2019
Kevin McStay: “Eight!”
Dean Rock scores a couple of early points. One is from a close-range free. Kevin, who despite his signature chalk-dry analysis, is occasionally good for a colourful phrase (remember his creation of the verb “to tomahawk” a few years back?), declares that you “could have a pair of wellingtons on you and be tapping these over the bar”.
As the opening quarter wears on, the underdogs settle nicely. They have a chance kneed off the line by James McCarthy. They have a couple of bad wides. They win a penalty, but see it saved by Stephen Cluxton. It is not overdoing it to assert that they could be eight points up by the 20th minute.
Upon which Dublin do what Dublin do, and conjure a goal out of nothing — Jack McCaffrey sliding the knife in between the ribs. Kevin comes up with an illuminating statistic. Kerry have five points from 14 opportunities and are trailing by four “when really it’s not been that sort of a match”.
Then we go a fortnight back in time to the hurling final and someone gets sent off moments before the interval.
Pat was right. One of those unknown unknowns.
The panel are unanimous about the penalty.
Pat: “Very soft, minimal contact.” Joe: “A scandal – never in a million years. Not the first cousin of a penalty.”
On Johnny Cooper’s second yellow, they are anything but unanimous.
Joe claims he was expecting a free out for Dublin and wonders if it showed “the Kerry propaganda taking effect”.
Ciarán deems it to be nothing more than a case of “two guys going for the ball, one leans in”.
Pat isn’t having any of this and insists it’s a yellow card, even if the first one wasn’t.
Eventually, and not before time, Joanne Cantwell tires of her squabbling pupils and interjects to move the debate forward. What’s going to happen now? Ciarán suggests that Kerry should bring on Tommy Walsh and all agree that Dublin’s professionalism is about to be put to the test. It’s left to Kevin to make the counter-argument: the holders may be a man down, but they’re four points up. “You don’t lose too many All-Ireland finals from there.”
Walsh comes on in due course. Kerry goal. Kerry lead. Diarmuid Connolly on. Rock equalises. Dublin stay cool, recycle the ball and work a free that will be the last kick of the game. The angle is so tight that even Rock can’t magic it over. A draw — and yes, it’s A Fair Result.
'What a game, what a game - the RTÉ panel were happy with the fare served up #SundayGame #AllIrelandFinal2019 #rtegaa pic.twitter.com/y4BGOOUoVg
— The Sunday Game (@TheSundayGame) September 1, 2019
Pat is moved to speak in tongues, or at any rate to speak in exclamation marks. What a game! What an afternoon of Gaelic football! What a contest! Hats off! The Kerry boys became men and Dublin showed why they’re true champions with their composure and game management!
Clare McNamara buttonholes Peter Keane for a few words. He is not speaking in exclamation marks. Emphatically not.
“Yerra… Lucky Bags… Anticlimax… 21-man game… Not worried about what people are thinking.”
Peter and Jim Gavin should ponder joining forces and embarking on a standup comedy tour. They’d pack out venues across the land.
Pat gets the last word in on behalf of the panel. “We’re very happy. We enjoyed ourselves.”
Pat Spillane is happy. Told you it was going to be a historic day.
