'There’s only one thing worse than losing the first round of the Munster championship and that’s winning it'

That Oscar Wilde won’t be in Thurles tomorrow makes no difference. We know implicitly what he’d say.

“There’s only one thing worse than losing the first round of the Munster championship,” he’d declaim, pausing. “And that’s winning it.”

Cue sycophantic titters from his green carnation-flourishing fans in the penthouse suite of Hayes’s Hotel.