Chelsea clash might be far less vital than we thought

HAD a good Christmas prezzie haul, dear reader? I got most of what I wanted in the first 20 minutes against Sunderland, thanks for asking: that sort of sparkling play-through-a-hangover carefree performance is exactly what St Stephen’s Day football should be about.

I doubt I need to add ‘Viva Berba’ once again, though can one ever say it enough?

Rather less welcome was the postponement of yet another eagerly-awaited away day jaunt (FC United’s Lake District lark at Kendal Town on the 27th) which thus joined Chelsea and Blackpool in the letdown bin.

For a fleeting moment, I even found myself wondering whether Fergie might have a point in his relentless mid-season break proselytising if global warming is (perversely) to dictate many more of these winter white-outs.

Fergie was still furious about the Chelsea Cancellation Conspiracy last Friday, amusingly noting of the conditions that weekend: “Do people not walk to shops and restaurants in Chelsea, then? What do they do, go on a broomstick? Or a magic carpet?”

We felt even more aggrieved when we saw Arsenal batter the Blues on Monday night, taking full advantage of the Chelsea ‘blip’ in precisely the manner we had hoped to enjoy a week earlier.

Perhaps some enterprising journo might try a recourse to the Freedom Of Information Act and thereby procure the notes of that infamous Saturday morning cosy-up between the Chelsea-supporting club officials, the Chelsea-supporting local police and the Chelsea-supporting local councillors.

Yes, you are right: I am extravagantly rolling my eyeballs as we speak. Never mind JFK: it’s the ‘snowy’ knoll on Fulham Broadway we should be interested in now.

Of course, you might suggest that it could all matter little come 2011.

The proposed Red-Blue double-header in May could end up being just another pair of games, if this so-called Chelsea decline continues apace.

It’s odd how no-one quite believes this could happen, though. Even in the wake of young Arsenal’s potentially epochal demolition of the ageing Blues, which may yet herald the overturn of a London pecking order established under Maureen, and thus lead the way back to the (welcome) status quo ante, people are incredulous.

Nonetheless: all those roubles purloined from semi-starved Russian peasants, all those top-notch managers, the superstar player imports...and yet they still might end up in 2011 being Arsenal’s backyard bitches once again — and with no European Cup to boot?

Good grief: my mouth is actually watering as I type this, and I may shortly drool onto the keyboard. Lordy; we must really hate Chelsea, mustn’t we?

So, we won’t get carried away. It’s one hell of a ‘blip’ though. As I write, in the form table based on the games since I remarked here that they had had their “flaws exposed” at Anfield, they are bottom but one, ahead only of Fulham. We are top, by five clear points too.

Incidentally, we are also top of the Fair Play league — which Man City are propping up, the desperately dirty gits.

From one set of loathed Blues to another, then, although let us be clear: I would rather Ancelotti won the next five titles — and as many European Cup medals as he can fit into his deep pockets — than see City lift the Premier League trophy this season.

We have no intention of joining Chelsea in the Backyard Bitches’ club, thank you.

Top dogs for three decades, and our bite’s still worse than City’s bark by a long chalk.

If we emerge from this midlands-wastelands double-header alive and unfrozen, I will see you here next year. Have a Happy One.