Ronald-who? Cantonesque Berbatov is the new demi-god at Old Trafford

WRITING this yesterday afternoon, I – like everyone else on the planet – am twiddling my thumbs, waiting for the first exit polls to come in from the States.

By the time you read this, we will all either be marvelling at a historic watershed for post-Reconstruction America, or chort-ling as the inner cities burn in response to some kind of suspicious McCain stunner. Whatever: it’s win-win for us jaded Eurotrash.

Quite a week for black heroics, all told, what with Obama and Lewis Hamilton all over our front pages; sadly our own representative in these illustrious stakes, our beloved Rio, couldn’t quite live up to the competition on Saturday as he blunderingly gave away the penalty that put Hull alarmingly back in contention.

Incidentally, you will forgive me a minor crow at this point, since I probably rather surprised you last week by claiming Hull would be no pushovers. Scoring three at O.T. is some achievement for any team, and is of course three more than a wretchedly useless Celtic managed a fortnight ago.

Not that one is taking anything for granted tonight, I hasten to add, given the legendary Parkhead crowd factor. Fashionable though it may be to decry the Celts’ relentless self-mythologising, which can be as tiresome as that in which Liverpool used to indulge pre-Heysel, most Reds will admit to looking forward to tonight’s occasion as the highlight of this qualifying group.

Indeed, it is a good week to remind oneself that being an away day Red as opposed to a ‘mere’ home-match attender remains the ideal status, if you are lucky enough to be able to manage and afford it. For we have Arsenal at the Emirates on Saturday as a follow-up, a fixture which remains a jewel studding the calendar.

Wenger may have branded the place ‘a library’ recently, and certainly it’ll be no comparison in decibel-levels to tonight, but as a footballing feast one can almost expect something sumptuous by right. Our two sides just don’t get enough credit for the amount of utterly absorbing and occasionally thrilling games we have produced between us since Wenger arrived at Arsenal; compared to the often dire and disappointing Liverpool-United confrontations of the past 30 years, these particular ‘six-point’ clashes seem to operate on a wholly higher plane.

For some bizarre reason, the entire media appears to have already written off the Gunners’ title challenge this season, and I even saw various papers refer to an ‘Arsenal crisis’ this week, which seems extraordinary given the eminently breachable small points gap between them and the top slot.

I sincerely hope we are not going to fall into our perennial old trap of complacency and taking opponents for granted, just because the Arse had a dicky 90 minutes on Saturday and fell to a fluke comeback against Spurs in midweek. Besides, as a surprisingly generous and uncynical piece in the News Of The World argued on Sunday, Arsenal’s perverse commitment to form over function may well cost them a few actual trophies, but the title for being the team you’d be keenest to watch is worth much more. That is the Manchester United classic attitude all over, and any genuine fan should welcome the fact that someone else out there seems to believe in it too.

All that said, at the moment it surely remains the case that WE still hold that particular spiritual crown, not least because of Dimitar Berbatov. (Excuse me whilst I adopt a dreamy moon-face and put some Barry White on the turntable.)

His often incredible exquisite touches on Saturday and against West Ham are already the stuff of legend; he has that Cantonesque knack for doing things in a match that you remember in your mind’s eye long after the actual goals have faded.

Like Eric, he has discovered that Fourth Dimension, where time actually slows around him when he takes the ball, and he thus appears to be then able to apply genius at his absolute leisure. So: Ronald-who? Madrid, you may do your worst — for we have a new demi-god now...

By Richard Kurt, whose classic ‘Red Army Years’ is only available via [e-mail]