Conquering of Romans the real reason for Bertie’s exit

I DOUBT anyone will ever top Garret FitzGerald in my list of Five Fave Irish Leaders (in my fantasy play-off, he beat Michael Collins after extra-time) but, like most Manc Reds, I had a big soft spot for Bertie Ahern, due to his evident love of the Reds. And of a good time. (Oh, and for that Northern peace treaty stuff, I guess.)

By the way, I did note that, like Bertie, Alex Ferguson also has a ’Biffo’ as a sidekick with a desire to become the boss, except that Mickey Phelan is a BIF from Ostlethwaite rather than Offaly. And always had rather less realistic prospects of power than Mr Cowen.

Anyway, my theory to explain Bertie’s sudden resignation last week is that, like every other United fan in the world, he watched the match unfold extraordinarily in Roma on Tuesday night and suddenly realised: “Would you look at that? With this luck, we’re clearly off to Moscow for the final.”