Houllier discovered to his cost that ‘good’ isn’t good enough at Liverpool

IF PICTURES paint a thousand words, find one of Rafa scratching his head and I’ll meet you at the bar.

Here we go again. Like his predecessors he no sooner got the champions in his sights and suddenly the terra firma beneath his feet turned to quicksand.

The summer money was spent on Kuyt, Bellamy and Pennant. While one looks useful the others emerged from the Emirates bench to the kind of applause where the word “ripple” would be overstating it.

The phone-in hysterics do battle with the “how dare you doubt him” brigade, while the rest of us look to the heavens and sigh with the rebarbative banality of it all.

The debate never really bothers me. This is Liverpool FC, and if our away form doesn’t frighten you regardless of the opposition adjust your sights and standards accordingly. Better still, check your pulse.

This will be the fourth time since our last title that we’ve listened to the “what sort of fan are you” speeches for even daring to express doubts about the manager.

Take the time machine test. Step inside, go back to March 2002 and stand by the Kop gates as everyone leaves.

Liverpool have beaten Roma and reached the Champions League quarter-final, and Houllier has returned from six months of recuperation (and not Mount Olympus as his reception may have implied).

Now shout in a loud voice: “In a year’s time most of you will hate his guts and be baying for his blood.”

And you’d be 100% right, which will be some consolation as you suck your supper through a straw.

Houllier discovered to his cost that “good” isn’t good enough here. It’s harsh. It’s not even remotely fair. It’s the way it is.

Can you name any other club where three consecutive managers came close to the title? I can: Docherty, Sexton, Atkinson, holy grail, “this is our year, no really it is I know I was wrong the other 20 times” etc. Ring any bells? The similarities don’t end there. Liverpool aren’t looking for someone to win one league any which way, like Leeds or Blackburn. We’re looking for a dynasty.

Because of history coming close is no cigar. United never emulated the Busby years until they found someone of similar stature. It took us 67 years to find Shankly.

United won cups under their “good” managers and so have we recently. You get this big and you can’t help but do okay. Even Souness won one. Because of history we’re beyond that now. I’m writing for you but I could easily be addressing the good folk of Oslo, Singapore or any far-flung Red outpost.

“Hey, come and spend your hard-earned money on Liverpool — we’re the fourth best team in England”. There’s no hard and fast time-scale for these things but I suspect munificent loyalty to a foreign cause cannot be garnered so easily.

It’s up to the manager and the players to get us out of this mess. Singing from a similar hymn sheet would be a useful beginning.

And an away goal would be just swell. It’s not as if the frozen North East is the best place to get it even when we’re functioning normally. The last time we scored in Middlesbrough, Houllier was on the final leg of his recuperation. There were times on Saturday I thought I’d be beginning mine.

I started to believe I’d never see another goal, ever. Watching the Boro’ does that to you. One goal attempt in 90 minutes, on home soil? Pathetic. We didn’t exactly bring light to the darkness.

The grisly thought occurred that this must be what purgatory is like. Waiting, waiting, waiting.

Rafa clutched his comfort blanket of “control”, while the chances he kept referring to were all half chances and there weren’t “lots” of them either.

Gerrard didn’t sparkle but everyone gave him rave reviews so why should he? Hansen called him “fantastic”. Maybe my eyesight’s faulty? But who else is there to rectify matters? That was the frightening thing on Saturday. Kuyt’s solution was to fall over at the flimsiest of contacts, whilst all around him was mediocrity.

Main threat to Chelsea? Two players, three at a push, might get into their team. The attacking intent is nowhere near United’s. That’s nothing like good enough.

Will an away win and some confidence really make the necessary difference? We’re beginning to suspect it won’t, but aren’t allowed to say so. “Real” fans don’t do that, you see.