Larry Ryan: Give hope a chance 'til the end of the season
QUICK STARTERS: Brighton manager Graham Potter celebrates with the Brighton fans at the end of the Premier League match against West Ham United. Pic: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images
At least one long-standing football tradition has been upheld. The league table ladders that the twins stuck to the bedroom door three weeks ago were carefully reshuffled on two Saturday evenings before the practice was abandoned. A similar level of endurance as their father managed back in the day. Has one ever been maintained beyond the schools going back?
In their defence, it’s hard to justify this investment of labour in an age when LiveScore is always at hand. So in this fixed dimension, it looks like Manchester City will forever stay top, and no doubt the real world will fall back in line with them before too long.
Actually, I probably went slightly deeper into the season most years, simply because nobody printed tables until at least three matches had been played. That ancient idea of allowing things to settle down before making any assessments seems quaint now in this age of instant crisis.
Cliché season has kicked off in earnest, with teams urgently needing to ‘kickstart their campaigns’, gaffers already ‘under mounting pressure’, and clubs in ‘desperate pursuit’ of reinforcements.
To summarise where we already stand, Liverpool, as we well know, are deepest in crisis, following a first defeat in 2022. They have ‘lost their way’, grown old and cranky overnight, have no midfield, and spent their last bean on a loose cannon up top.
Manchester City have the title won, though look vulnerable to Newcastle next season. While Erling Haaland has evolved from misfit to unstoppable beast and onto useful distraction in the space of a few weeks.
Eddie Howe is now as revered as Keegan and Uncle Bobby combined. Mikel Arteta is the best bits of Pep Guardiola and Don Conroy combined. While Jesus has ascended into heaven and sits at the right hand of the father, Dennis Bergkamp.
Antonio Conte is an iron-willed mentality monster who bleeds victory, buoyed by triumph in the first handshake controvassy of the campaign. Chelsea are finishing up as a going concern, having lost that shakedown. While Leicester are mired in despair and mutiny, despite Brendan Rodgers probably holding 11 envelopes in his hand after every game.
Two swings of Erik ten Hag’s ‘brutal axe’ have somehow transported Manchester United from a circus to that idyllic place every gaffer wants to be: ‘On the right track’. The longer you can stay on the right track without reaching any destination the better, as Arteta, for one, has shown. It’s hope people want, really, not success.
But hope has never been a more fragile commodity. And for many clubs, much depends on what unfolds over the next few days. The Football Cliches podcast led in this week with another classic example of how the game’s language has invaded our lives. A guy in the gym talking about his newborn son after two weeks of paternity leave: “Yeah, he’s slotted straight in.” That’s the dream of every manager this weekend before the transfer window ‘slams shut’ next Thursday.
The likes of Neal Maupay will never be the answer to so many prayers as in the coming days — until a few weeks pass and it’s accepted that an eight-or-nine-goals-a-season-man isn’t the new Dixie Dean.
For a measure of just how much of this fragile hope is invested in the gaffers, it is interesting to survey the fan message boards of some of the Premier League’s middle-of-the-road teams. It is on these cloistered quarters of the internet, you’d imagine, where more reasoned debate is found, where trolling for the sake of it isn’t as prevalent as on social media.
And so we find, on VillaTalk, that in the estimation of , Steven Gerrard “needs eight points from the next six games as a bare minimum” to keep his job, and there isn’t an awful lot by way of disagreement.
Over on Molineux Mix, is among the more forgiving voices, vowing to give Bruno Lage “at least 10 games”. Though wouldn’t be surprised if he goes in the next six.
On Saintsweb, meanwhile, believes that Ralph Hasenhüttl has 12 games “to show he’s the man for us”. While on Everton enclave GrandOldTeam, they are filled with the generosity of spirit only the impending arrival of Neal Maupay can bring. — possibly not the real one — is adamant that “Frank does need until Xmas”. He has earned that “for taking over from the waiter and giving us hope,” Judi assesses. Fragile hope.
There are some even more reasoned voices out there, willing to venture that all this short-termism might not be healthy. suggests Hasenhüttl’s edgy demeanour lately might have something to do with the “12 game thing hanging over him”.
has an eye on the bigger picture, calculating that Stevie G has accumulated 1.27 points per game for Villa, equating to about 48 per season, “not too far off the 50-60 range where I think the squad should be”.
“It’s certainly not enough for me to be worried just yet.”
And then there is the blissful oasis down at Brighton, where hope has settled into brief contentment. on Northstandchat claims to be a neuroscientist and psychologist and points out that Graham Potter’s three-year innings has, more than anything else, given him the precious time to build trust.
“You can see that trust then come through on the pitch. Want to play March or whoever out of position? That's the consequence of 12 months working on them as a full human being to build their trust in your judgement as well as their own judgement, as much as it's working on them tactically as a player.”
After Neal Maupay missed an open goal in a scoreless draw with Leeds early last season and the Brighton boo-boys delivered their conclusion at the final whistle, Potter would probably have pointed out that trust usually lasts as long as the next three points. There were probably a few on Northstandchat giving him six games max.
But then wisdom doesn’t always arrive early in life. Having asked the nippers what’s the story with updating the wallchart, the small girl concluded: “Might as well wait until the end of the season.”
Belated apologies to Mr Carlo Ancelotti, unforgivably overlooked in my last column which bemoaned the lack of a true coaching visionary out there, able to cook up a winning formula without requiring players to burst themselves running around all day.
Because the latest Uefa Champions League Technical Report, released this week, suggests Real Madrid bucked most tactical trends en route to last season’s trophy, with Ancelotti steering clear of the high-pressing, hard-running, transition-reliant approaches of most of the big guns.
For instance, Real relaxed on the ball for an average of 16.2 seconds before each goal scored in the competition, longer than anyone else, and notably more than finalists Liverpool on 9.2 seconds.
Uefa expert Fabio Capello, a former Real manager, reckons Ancelotti probably tailored his approach to cater for the running capacities of his three regular midfielders, Casemiro, Toni Kroos and Luka Modric. "The midfielders are not young, not so fast."
A sobering observation, perhaps, for Ten Hag’s high-octane plans. But good to see a gaffer not totally reliant on The Savage Hunger.
Mbappe, Messi and PSG's four-pass magic has given the old tip-off a long-overdue whiff of glamour.
Notice a league table missing today, a match forgotten, a picture choice dubious? Well give us a break because deputy sports ed Colm has departed after 21 years. You couldn’t list the things Colm looked after, mainly because only he knew half of them even needed to be looked after. He certainly kept a lot running smoothly, without ever making a big deal of it, while commentating on a match or presenting the odd live show in his spare time. So why is he not getting to climb the stairway? Because of that sinking feeling his departure means a whole lot more work for the rest of us.
