Premier League season never seems to end

Last Saturday afternoon, I had occasion to go into a pub in the afternoon with somebody, and that person summed up my feelings in one sentence when the blare from the televisions hit us.

‘Christ, is the Premier League almost back already?’

It seems as if the competition came to an end about 20 minutes ago, which makes its impending return all the more baffling. Surely in a sleek glass-and-steel dungeon somewhere the minions of the Premier League are plotting some kind of temporal displacement where the soccer season doesn’t go on forever, which would be no challenge, but an illusion whereby the Premier League season doesn’t just end, but begins again immediately, thus combining the orgy of recap with the frenzy of forecast.