Time for Rooney to let football do the talking

A FRIEND of mine once told me that he’d briefly toyed with the idea of joining Friends Of the Earth but then decided against it. “You know me,” he explained, “I’d want to be more than just friends.”

Indeed, but of course these things can work the other way too. Take that young Wayne Rooney: just a few short weeks ago we were all convinced he was on the verge of abandoning an unhappy marriage to jump into bed with a certain attractive neighbour. And now he tells us that, far from going all the way, he’d rather have emigrated than touch same with a 40 foot bargepole.

“Everyone is saying that I was definitely going to Manchester City,” he said this week.