Words of wisdom for the sports stars of the future

THANK you students, please sit down. It’s an honour to address the class of 2010. I know you guys are busy cramming ahead of the Leaving Cert’s commencement in a few short days.

Very quickly if I may, I’d like to offer some advice to you, our athletes of tomorrow.

Firstly, if you’re going to write a book – really, I can’t say this enough, guys – do NOT hire an Australian to write it. Tadhg Kennelly once sat where you are; he learnt that particular lesson the hard way.