Here comes the big bang

I expect this one to be settled by the narrowest of margins, what Giovanni Trapattoni – no stranger himself to footballing sub-atomic particles – likes to call the “leetle details”

EARLIER this week, the Large Hadron Collider finally began crashing particles together at nearly the speed of light. Today, it’s the turn of the Premier League to deliver its version of The Big Bang.

Readers of this column won’t need me to tell them that the Large Hadron Collider, the world’s most powerful atom smasher since Chelsea’s Ron ‘Chopper’ Harris was routinely cremating opponents back in the 70s, is designed to probe the deepest mysteries of life, such as the nature of matter, the origins of the universe and, most baffling of all, how the Arse managed to get on level terms against Barca at the Emirates the other night.