Life after debt

THEY don’t write football journalism like they used to.

Flicking through the sports pages this week, I happened upon the following exciting news item on current events at Old Trafford. Just one paragraph should suffice to give you a tantalising flavour of the thing. Strap yourselves in… “The seven-year bond is expected to be priced at between 9% and 9.5%. That will increase the amount of interest the club pays on its £562 million debt, currently fixed at just over 5%, but will create a mechanism for the Glazers to funnel up to £79m from United’s existing cash flow to their holding company to start paying down a £225m hedge fund debt secured on their shareholding. These so-called payment-in-kind notes are accumulating at a rate of 14.25% a year.”

Well, I don’t know about you, but I’d have a sneaking suspicion that Con Houlihan had no hand, act or part in the crafting of that sparking prose. No mention in there, you’ll note, of burning cakes and addled mothers and that sort of thing.