The continuum of life
Gardening, like agriculture, is satisfying on a profound level because it chiefly reinforces the logic of a natural cycle. The cultivation of plants is an art as well as a craft, and at the same time it keeps us in touch with life, the seasons, and that friendly symbiosis we call nature.
It is a humanising occupation done alone, but often with a companion.
Whether this companion takes a truly active part in the actual planting and preparation of a garden is immaterial, it is the involvement with the other (if only on an advisory level) that makes it worthwhile for both. Worthwhile, that is, until one or the other become seriously ill or passes away.
It must be clear to all who grow plants that when a gardening partner dies the total and utter joy goes out of the garden. It seems to die along with its creator.
How many fine gardens do you remember from the area in which you spent your childhood? How many remain? Very few I’ll wager.
Oh yes, widows and widowers will struggle to keep the garden as it was when the couple were as one, but in most cases the exercise is futile and short lived.
There are exceptions, but in the main it must be said that the essential quality of any garden is that it is ephemeral, and without a duo to manage it, it too dies, gracefully or disgracefully.
Following a bereavement, far too many widows and widowers struggle with a garden legacy they never wanted.
Imagine trying to maintain a quality lawn or huge herbaceous border which someone else has managed for half a lifetime, or being left with an acre or more of high maintenance plantings to tend unaided. It simply cannot be done.
What both created together is gone, (in one respect), and one must find the ability to move on. A person does not have to leave the family home or garden or anything like that, but simply face the fact that the garden needs to change with the altered situation.
Large areas can be planted up with shrubs which don’t need much looking after, and if this is not possible then reduce the size of garden with fencing or a living screen (hedge).
Don’t worry about the remainder for it will always be there along with the memories. Replace small lawns with gravel, grass over herbaceous areas, and level the likes of rockeries and raised beds.
It will cost to have it done, but it will make the garden as maintenance-free as is possible and allow it to regenerate itself at its own pace. The lost partner, I’m certain, will not think any the less of you for this.
Anyone with a modicum of intelligence will surely admit that when someone dies they’re not really gone completely. Their energy remains, so too a spirit, and it continues to nurture and mind us.
We can draw from that and come to know the eternal, the continuum of life.
¦ A Festival of Flowers entitled From the Rich Earth takes place in the Sacred Heart Church Belgooly, Co. Cork, on Oct 5 to 7. Full details here next week.
¦ From Bantry Bay to the lovely Lee is the title of an exhibition of new landscape paintings in oils by Anna O’Hara currently showing in the Bishopstown Library, Wilton, Cork. The exhibition is worth visiting and it continues daily to Sept 29.
¦ Cork Flower Club will have Richard Delmar (Portlaoise) to demonstrate at their meeting on Tuesday at 8pm in the Canon Packham Hall Douglas.
¦ Grow It Yourself (GIY) Ireland will hold their annual event, The Gathering, today and tomorrow in Waterford City. The event will feature international guest speakers including BBC’s Alys Fowler and our Kitty Scully among many others.
¦ A one-day autumn seminar takes place in Claregalway Castle, Co. Galway on Saturday, Oct 6, at 10am. Presentations will be given by Klaus Laitenberger (Growing organically), Dr Muriel McCarthy (Historic Library Garden), Irish Seedsavers, and Thomas Pakenham. €65 includes lunch, coffee breaks. Booking essential from 087-6354747.
¦ Garden seminar on Saturday, Sept 29, at Fota House (featuring Bob Brown) still has tickets available. The one day seminar (9am to 4.30pm costs €50 (with lunch €62). Booking from Fota House, 021-4815543
¦ Mallow Flower and Garden Club will host a demonstration with Kay Murphy on Tuesday at 8pm in the Mercy Centre
¦ Conna and District Flower Club meet in Conna Hall on Wednesday next at 8pm. Mary Johannes (Cahir) will be demonstrate “Seasonal exhibits”.
¦ Longueville House, Mallow, Co. Cork Annual Mushroom Hunt on tomorrow (also Sunday, Oct 7).
¦ The RHSI (Dublin) hosts Eileen McKenna to demonstrate My Way with Flowers in Wesley House, Leeson Park, Dublin on Wednesday next at 8pm.
¦ Ardfield Rathbarry Gardening Club will host Mary Wedel on Thursday next in the Parish Hall at 8.00pm.
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