What’s the big deal?

Multi-pub owner Benny McCabe says Irish drinkers obey the law on holidays, and flout it at home. We need to change

THAT time of year again, after lashing rain forced a scramble for the airports. Relative calm ensued, as all parties to these tumultuous times (both political and financial) headed to the Tuscanies, the Quinto do Lagos, or whatever you are having yourself. Joining them was our own elite and as many of our citizens as could afford it. If money never sleeps it certainly did doze this summer, scant comfort for the rest of us.

Their return was to be dreaded, for as sure as we will witness remarkable events in Europe this autumn we also must endure the annual “everything is better in (insert the country of your choice) xxxx” articles and opinions, whether in print or from that terribly self indulgent new class ‘the bloggers.’

I, as a publican, having spent the summer explaining to drenched French Spanish and German families that I can’t let them in out of the rain because of a ludicrous law excluding their children after a certain hour (and none of these will return I’m sure), will still be bombarded with a deluge, to match our own weather, of reports about “dinner for four in a fish restaurant was had for a score and wine was a fiver extra, why can’t we do this in Ireland?” Eh, VAT, tax, over-zealous officialdom here, and blatant tax evasion and sympathetic interpretation of laws over there, might be an answer.

Dinner parties will buzz as each person tries to outdo the other’s holiday tales of what a great deal they got. Out of interest I’ve asked friends and colleagues to bring back receipts proving the existence of such a fish restaurant — my point being that better value can now be had in Cork’s many fine restaurants. I’m still waiting. Just as I am waiting to be introduced to the mystery ‘friend of a friend’ who got the 99 cent flights to Barcelona.

But what gets on my publican’s goat the most is the “the bar stayed open all night, there was no hassle, a great welcome was had for the kids. My God they love their kids, the streets were full and, my lord, not a policeman in sight......”

This is then followed by much tutting, and — come on guys, we all know this line — “sure you wouldn’t want to step out of line in (again, insert country of choice) you’d get a baton on the ceann and a week in prison”, followed by lewd jailhouse jokes by the lads.

We all know this to be true, so, therefore, is a large part or the drink problem in Ireland an actual law and order problem? I believe so. I’ve worked in the pub trade all my life and it is fair to say that the Irish have an almost fascistic fascination with law and order abroad: the lads marvel at the riot squads and the guns. As my wife reminds me, the girls love the uniforms and the Raybans. All go on holiday safe in the knowledge that if they or anyone else steps out of line the questions will most definitely be asked second not first.

On the other hand, on returning home there is an attitude towards policing here that would make an anarchist proud. Here, we are safe in the knowledge that we can urinate in public, climb fountains and give the guards the bird, and sure what about it? ‘twas only a bit of craic; there will be free legal aid for those who can’t afford it; there will be a small fine for those who can and only a slap on the wrist for all.

What makes us tolerate this? Is it the folk memories of transportation, the stealing of the loaf of bread, Trevelyns corn? Every child in Ireland knows the words and it still sends a shiver down my spine. Is it the memory that harsh sentences were handed down by ‘them,’ that we would never do it to our own.

This is why we respect the law abroad — and have it watered down at home,

This is why we had the triumph (yes, triumph!) of Poznan and the tragedy of Phoenix Park.

Now, minimum pricing per unit of alcohol is progress, but really just coat-tailing on a Scottish initiative. The correct thing to do is to ban below-cost selling of alcohol and stop the Irish citizen from being a pawn in a supermarket turf war.

Banning advertising in sports is a bit shortsighted as the battle for hearts and minds will move to the Internet with more penetration and less supervision. Why would you remove one of the last sources of funding for rural festivals? By the way, why can you sell beer below-cost in a supermarket and yet ban happy hours in pubs?

Who is advising the Government? Is it the Taliban now? Where to next?

Will these initiatives change habits? Maybe. But, habits are changing faster than the Government realises, demographics, austerity, social media, the slow strangulation of rural Ireland, emigration, but most importantly a police force that is being forced to tackle public order with one hand behind its back and with an increasingly alarming lack of resources.

All these are combining to create an event-driven social life. People go out once a month, they go to organised events that are being concentrated more and more on cities, there’s a high level of expectation on the part of the event goer, and they will let off a lot of steam.

This virtually guarantees that the violent Phoenix Park/Swedish House Mafia gig debacle will happen again, in cities all over Ireland.

To create the conditions where people start to take responsibility for themselves in drinking, both in public and in the home, we need to create similar policing conditions that make us behave abroad.

In plain Hiberno-English, the Government must legislate for the return of the ’phunt’ up the backside, both physically and financially,

Before the usual crowd start in that this is a right-wing statement (no Irish man would ever admit to this at home), rather, I am saying drop the hypocrisy — let’s open all night. Let’s have a welcome for the children of tourists (just keep them seated). Let’s have our streets packed and let’s have no trouble on them, we have the (Fáilte Ireland-sponsored) Gathering next year, let’s plan for that,

All I want is what you have on holidays; if it’s good enough for holidays it’s good enough for home, this behaviour will penetrate the home. By the way, before you start the “the drink has touched many families in Ireland including my own,” so have car accidents (not involving drink), diabetes and cancer — but, somehow, the commentary on all these is never as hysterical as it is with alcohol. That’s because, I believe, we all know the answer to the question: We are the problem.

Benny McCabe is the proprietor of Cork pubs The Bodega, Crane Lane, Maynes, Sin É, The Vicarstown, Mutton Lane and The Oval