Readers' Blog: Impact of violent men on society’s individuals
As news continue to follow Jastine Valdez as she returns to the Philippines in a different state from the one she left the country in, I could not help but let my mind follow her journey to her final resting place.
As a woman and a migrant who came to Ireland on my own, seeking a better life for myself and for my family left behind in South Africa, it makes me analyse the meaning of life and how fragile it can be.
I imagine Jastine making preparations and arrangements to come and join her parents in Ireland. I don’t know how often they visited the Philippines in the 20 years they work and live here or if she visited them here in Ireland or how often. However, knowing how exciting it is to go abroad in search of a better life, particularly from less well-off countries, it must have been something to look forward to.
I imagine her friends back home envious when she left that she was going to a better place to start the life of her dreams. I imagine her walking the streets of Ireland being an unknown or not-worth-knowing ‘foreign’ person — like many of us working and living in Ireland.
Little did she know that one day, an angry man would grab her in broad daylight and just wring her neck like she was an animal, in a flash, for a reason she did not know or that had nothing to do with her. Not only would this impact on her family but also his poor wife who’s left to explain his actions to their children.
I didn’t know her or her family, but I am friends with many Filipinos in the Migrant Rights Centre Ireland who are activists for the better working conditions and rights of migrant workers and their families. Many of them are close-knit as a community but are also full of teachings of kindness, love and forgiveness.
I also heard many discussions in the media and a lot of defensive comments by some men who were missing the point that it wasn’t about guarding their egos as they insisted that ‘not all men are like that’ something we all know already and are not arguing against. It is the sense of entitlement to do anything to a woman or woman’s body, unprovoked, whenever they are having a bad day that should stop. Women aren’t punch bags to release stress on. Women aren’t stones to crumble when one is angry.
I try not to be as angry as I was during the Belfast rape trial of rugby players.
I can’t even begin to imagine what 14-year-old Ana’s family are going through. How does a 13-year-old hit another person with bricks and sticks until her body lies there motionless?
What about the latest young man’s death when he was last seen with his peers? Should I not have an issue with male violence, against women and against other men?
Kilmainham
Dublin
