Follow the money at the Irish Disneyland

IF the proposed city-sized theme park is to be located in Dublin north county, the central theme has to be Infamous Mobsters of Latter-Day Ireland.

There must be a Disney Fantasia with characters (big heads) and pavilions dedicated to entertaining topics such as 'Charlie and Ben and the Money Trail' with tips on how to 'touch' the rich and foolish for a few bob by joining the Soldiers of Destiny. Free party membership and balloons with entrance ticket.

Visit the fabulous 'Money Merry-go-round,' otherwise known as Ansbacher Antics open an account and win a free trip to the Bahamas.

Also don't miss the haunted house called World of Phantom (Non)Residents (catch one of these ghosts, and win a cash prize courtesy of the Revenue Commissioners).

Visit the Tribunal Farce an amusing mock trial with Rambo Burke, Liam 'Prague' Lawlor and a cast of hundreds of supporting county councillors. Land rezonings take place daily! (Please bring big paper bags to this show, otherwise you will not be admitted).

Last but not least, view an effigy of Red Joe Higgins in a Victorian setting behind bars complete with menacing wardens.

Children under 10 not admitted to this frightening spectacle in which the 'worst' of our Famous Irish Villains gets his unjust desserts.

This theme park will have everything. And that's a promise.

John McDermott,

Ashtown,

Dublin 15.