David O'Mahony: Return-to-school project a bit like the start of a big Lego set 

By the end of next week, maybe that Lego tower will be a little bit further along. File picture

Nothing quite fits at the moment.

I don’t mean the country’s split-purpose policies of pursuing climate emission cuts while also ramping up data centre production on an electrical grid that isn’t fit for purpose. 

Nor do I mean the surging use of AI apps running on said data centres, producing all manner of gibberish or automated scams (I get a lot of those, as a writer).

It’s the school run. Actually, it’s more than just the school run. It’s the whole return-to-school project. 

And I always forget how heavy those schoolbags are – though as somebody whose shoulder is permanently out of alignment because of the weight of his bag while in school, I shouldn’t. 

Maybe I just keep hoping things will get easier for the small people in my life, even if it’s all a bit manic at the moment.

Right now it’s a bit like the start of a big Lego set — I want to say the Minas Tirith one from Lord of the Rings, if anybody’s feeling generous toward me — when you’ve emptied out the first couple of bags and you’re looking at what you’ve built, then at the picture at the box, and wondering if you’ll ever get there.

Part of that is because we’re only one full week in, so there’s a lot to shake out yet. 

But part of it, in our household, is that we now have three schools to navigate, each of which has a different start and finish time.

And, Cthulhu and the Dagda help me, each of them has a different calendar, with mid-terms slightly different in each school; I can already see them arguing over who has the better break, based on days off. 

Still, if that’s one of the main things they’re competing over then it’s probably for the best. 

If it was taekwondo, Daughter, despite being the tiniest of them, would absolutely triumph.

At least she now goes to a breakfast club at her school (she didn’t last year), which allows us to divide and conquer a bit. 

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Beloved Wife does that dropoff on her way to work, though it means a longer day for Daughter, which she isn’t quite used to yet. 

And because she’s as stubborn as she is ebullient, she isn’t willing to admit that either, even when she rolls in hangry or resists when given notice of bedtime.

So there’s that.

And that’s after the typical rigmarole of “where are my shoes”, “can you tie my hair up”, or “I don’t have PE today — why do I need deodorant?” (the answer, as I told him, is deodorant is for every day).

There’s also having to learn a whole new rhythm for our son in secondary school, both in terms of new subjects and even the breakdown of his day. 

Part of his homework this week was to watch the news. I could have said to him, “I am the news”, but it’s hard enough being the dad of a teenager without going out of your way to get the side eye (or worse, eye roll). 

Sometimes, like starting secondary school, you have to keep your head down until you get the lay of the land.

But there’s also the deviation from our old dropoff route and routine, which as any household with neurodivergent members will tell you, can throw some kids off for a whole day (some neurodivergent people find it easier to learn a whole new routine rather than tweak an existing one). 

And then there’s the road and footpath construction, complete with additional traffic lights, that some genius scheduled to start the week two schools with a combined 1,600 students went back. 

It’ll only get worse when the rains come; no doubt they’ll start digging up another part of the road just to add to the chaos.

The old, dare I say triumphant sweep I used to be able to make when leaving the office, the one that let me collect all three children at once, is no more. 

Last year, two of them went to the same school, with a finish time about 10 minutes apart and an after-school club they both went to anyway. 

Now they don’t really line up at all, at least not in a way that I can take advantage of earlier in the day when necessity arises.

And that’s not even factoring in that they’re straight back into hobbies and extracurricular activities. 

Or one of them is, anyway; multi-skilled Daughter is already in ballet and taekwondo mode, with gymnastics to follow next week. 

She won’t tell you she’s tired after those, either.

Mind you, I managed to misremember the finishing time for taekwondo so I was late collecting her — perhaps don’t mention the war. 

In my defence, we had the first illness of the school year that afternoon and my head was a touch frazzled.

Still, by the end of next week, maybe that Lego tower will be a little bit further along. 

And, before we know it, it’ll be full and glorious, and we’ll be wondering what all the fuss was about.

• David O’Mahony is Irish Examiner assistant editor and a writer. His book In the House of Sorrows is out now