Terry Prone: Raise a glass (and maybe a tasty turkey sandwich) to slobs on St Stephen's Day 

On the second day of Christmas, every family in Ireland replaces the elf on the shelf with the slouch on the couch

The slob settles the smallies down to watch ‘The Muppets Christmas Carol’, oblivious to how terrifying one sequence is — because of course the slob has always slept through the second half of the movie.

Raise your glasses, ladies and gentlemen, for a toast. To the slobs of the world. Every family has one or more of them. It’s not generally known, but today is their day.

St Stephen’s Day is when they sit on the couch like they were superglued to it, the nearest thing to exercise demanded of them the lifting of their feet — straight-legged — off the floor to let the hoover go underneath. Uncomplaining, they are, planted, eyes glued to sport on the television, unbothered by the hoover noise.