Edel Coffey: Kindness can be life-changing when you are in desperate need of it

Just as with love, often we find kindness where we least expect to and often it shows up when we most need it

Edel Coffey. Photo: Ray Ryan

I had to think actively about kindness this week as part of a course I’m doing. You’re supposed to try to visualise kindness, or failing that someone who recently showed you kindness instead. What exactly is kindness, I wondered?

I asked a few friends for their suggestions. “It’s when you’re nice to someone even though they don’t deserve it,” said one. “It’s when you show up for people,” said another. Neither of these really chimed with my idea of kindness, which is much less dutiful. For me, kindness has no association with obligation. My understanding of it is the giver and the receiver feel equally good.