Suzanne Harrington: I want a Jeffrey to sort out my lifemin

While researching Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle for an article for this newspaper, I learnt that she has a house manager.

Not a butler, because it’s not Downton Abbey, but better, because he does all her lifemin. “He’s so incredible,” Gwyneth told a breathless New York Times. “He helps me with everything.” His name is Jeffrey, and I want one.