Time stands still as a major milestone is marked by old age

Now that I’m old (and vulnerable) my state wants to keep me safe while they’re giving me stuff, writes Fergus Finlay

SO IT’S official. I’m old. Clapped out. Bunched. No use to man nor beast. And, mysteriously, my watch stopped. And all because I made my debut the same year as Rudolph. Yes, the lad with the red nose. (No comparisons with his red nose welcome!) That was 1950. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer was born, and the story of his adventures became one of the biggest hit records of the year. Gene Autry’s recording went on to sell 25 million copies.

By comparison, I was pretty small beer. Born the same year as Rudolph, alongside my twin sister Finola (who has managed to remain remarkably un-clapped out) but nobody outside our immediate family noticed.