I can’t wait for my break from mid-term

So, I say to my kids brightly, is there anything you’d like to do this mid term? That doesn’t cost any money? (Skiing’s out, sorry).

But they don’t even look up from their screens. I sneak off, leaving them in their pyjamas at noon, one playing something unsuitable on the Xbox, the other streaming something inappropriate from PutLocker.

I text them to tell them that the sun is shining, and suggest they might like to go outside, perhaps interact with their own species in the hours of daylight. Whatevs, the politer one texts back.