I’m very angry with the world and you should be, as well

A CONSULTATION with my local witch doctor, for some rebalancing herbal potions, after a recent trip to hospital nearly killed me, involves filling out a form. 

Although not the typical questions you’d fill out in a doctor’s surgery — one question asks if I liked thunderstorms — all is going well until we get to this question: ‘what irritates me’?

Oh, my god. Where, in 2016, do you even start? Because it’s not the people who talk loudly on their phones in restaurants, or the ones who post too many smug selfies on Facebook, or even those who leave the cap off the toothpaste. No. It’s none of them.