Palin’s prose polarises presidential policies

TRUMP’S candidacy, it has exposed not just that tragic ramifications of that betrayal of the transformation of our country, but too, he has exposed the complicity on both sides of the aisle that has enabled it, OK?”

Sorry, what? Has someone broken Google translate? Lumps of words all stuck together and chewed up, then kind of randomly spat out? No, it’s worse than that. It’s Sarah Palin, who has been allowed in front of a microphone again.

Just when you thought Donald Trump’s campaign couldn’t get any more horror-show, he wheels her out, unleashing an incoherent gibberish of jingoism, albeit presented slightly more telegenically — ice rink botox and brown fake tan — than an orange faced ranting toupee ever could. Although at least with Trump’s raging cab-driver schtick, it’s a stream of unpleasant consciousness. His fear-mongering hatespeak is at least semi-coherent. Kind of.

With Palin, there is no such consciousness. Just fascist-lite bar room rhetoric, mangled into nonsensical mush. Is she high? Trump, she says, is all about “to keep the main thing, the main thing… isn’t he known for being able to command, fire!” Um, yes, if you say so, scary lady.

Obviously I realise it’s too easy to poke fun at her, to take Mrs Palin out of context, to misunderestimate what she’s trying so terribly hard to say. So let’s have an unbroken chunk of her endorsement speech, this time focusing on next year when the current US president is leaving the White House.

Here she is, word for word: “He packs up the teleprompters and… all that hopey, changey stuff and he heads on back to Chicago, where I’m sure he can find some community there to organise again. There, he can finally look up, President Obama will be able to look up, and there, over his head, he’ll be able to see that shining, towering, Trump tower. Yes, Barack, he built that, and that says a lot.”

Yes, it says that Donald Trump likes paying for buildings with his name stuck on them in giant letters. Obama on the other hand, has not been erecting any towers to himself, because he was been busy reforming healthcare — a sure sign of communism — which means that not all impoverished Americans are forced to operate on each other on the kitchen table with the aid of a sewing kit and the cutlery drawer.

More “hopey changey stuff” has been being polite to Iran, reforming Wall Street, reforming the domestic economy, reforming school dinners, avoiding scandal more than any president in decades, and vastly improving America’s image abroad. Yet Sarah Palin, fearless shooter of polar bears and wolves from a helicopter, refers to none of this; for her, Obama is a community organiser from Chicago.

And Trump could be the next president, with her endorsement. Imagine — President Trump and Vice President Palin. I like to think of it in terms of an asteroid strike — highly unlikely, but should it happen, utterly catastrophic for the entire planet. Although manufacturers of fake tan and assault rifles would be ecstatic.