Conditional Love

He sits beside his parents in the pew,

Centre aisle, row five, as they always do.

His mother is regal in her good blue coat,

his father noisily clearing his throat.

The saliva in his mouth turns sour

As Fr. Duffy preaches God’s love and its power.

He is melancholy as he kneels to pray,

His conflicted heart is filled with dismay.

He is convinced his exclusion is complete,

God and his parents have standards he cannot meet.

The altar boy, star hurley player, high achiever

Whose destiny now is to be liar and deceiver.

He flies from London four times a year

And tells them what they want to hear.

He takes them to mass and out for dinner,

Their cherished son – the secret sinner,

Tortured by six words he will never say –

“Mum and Dad I am gay”

Aoife O Donnell

Letterkenny

Co Donegal.