Forget Movember, what about ’veganuary’

Whenever we do stuff like Stoptober or Movember, it’s always to benefit ourselves. Movember is all about showing your awareness of prostate cancer by sporting a great big freshly-grown moustache which gets you extra likes on Facebook, while only the most uni-cellular amongst us need the benefits of stopping smoking in Stoptober spelled out.

Forget Movember, what about ’veganuary’

Both initiatives roundly benefit you, the participant. But what if you want to be part of something bigger than stubbing out your roll-up and growing a big fat tache?

This month offers a new initiative, based on a January-related pun, designed to make you the participant feel smugly fabulous about yourself. And who doesn’t love feeling smugly fabulous? Make way for Veganuary. “Try vegan this January,” is its simple, beguiling suggestion. It’s all there at Veganuary.com

But first, spare a thought for vegans. The Taliban of vegetarianism. Miserable nut-milk maniacs making everyone else feel – what, exactly? Guilty? Hardly. If that worked, we would all be eating a plant-based diet. Smug, shiny, skinny soya freaks, with their avocado smoothies and their tofu sandwiches. Why on earth would anyone want to go vegan? And even if you did, where would you find the energy?

This is why Movember works so well – all you have to do is not shave directly below your nostrils for a while, and you are actively participating. And while stopping smoking is horrendous at any time of year, not just October, we all know that it’s not as horrendous as lung cancer, heart disease or emphysema.

Which makes Veganuary such a superior challenge. We do not consider eating animals as bad for you as smoking – in fact, we have always been told the opposite. Only now are we starting to realise that actually, we might have been a tiny bit wrong. You know, those pesky one-in-three cancer statistics that won’t go away.

But never mind the positive impact of a plant-based diet on the environment, the human body and on animals themselves – who amongst us doesn’t love to feel massively superior?

This is undoubtedly the best bit about being vegan. More than the knowledge that your dinner is causing no harm to you or anyone else, the very best thing about going vegan is telling people. How do you know when someone is vegan?

They’ll tell you. Loudly and repeatedly – and now you can make this a pleasure of your very own.

Feel those ripples of smugness. You see, you can’t argue with veganism. Ethically, ecologically, geo-politically, and nutritionally – look up The China Study by Cornell professor of biochemistry Colin Campbell if you don’t believe me – there is no arguing with Veganuary.

From Morrissey and Johnny Marr to Venus and Serena Williams, from Stella McCartney to Al Gore to Geezer Butler from Black Sabbath, they’re all at it.

What used to be the hardest, weirdest club in town is fast becoming the coolest, the most forward-thinking.

So put your best faux-leather shod foot forward, and shout it loud and proud, “I’m trying vegan this January!”

It’ll drive people insane. How can you resist?

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