The secret shame of self-harming

Tomorrow is Self Injury Awareness Day. If you have a friend who is self-harming, this would be a good time to let them know that they are not alone and there is hope.

If you are having difficulty with self-harm, I know how frightening it is to admit that you cannot do this alone, but I encourage you to confide in a safe person.

This day is partly about dispelling the myths and prejudices around self-harm that keep the problem shrouded in shame and secrecy. Self-harm affects men and women of all ages. I started self-harming as a child, and didn’t stop until I was into adulthood; it is not exclusively a teenage behaviour. It is not a suicide attempt — it is an attempt to deal with overwhelming emotions, often because better coping mechanisms haven’t been learned yet. It is typically not intended to be attention-seeking, though even when it is, the fact that a person feels that hurting themselves is their best way of getting attention is a clear sign that they are in need of help. Self-harm is seldom spoken about openly. My hope is that this letter might reach people who feel alone in the problem, or that it might encourage a more gentle attitude towards something that is very difficult to understand from the outside.