Gell-Man, gulls and quarks

AT Dublin District Court, last week, a petrol station owner admitted to removing a gull’s nest and three eggs from the roof of his premises in Balbriggan.

The shop, he claimed, became unusually hot last summer. Chocolate bars were beginning to melt on the shelves so he called an air conditioning company. A nest on the roof, they found, was partly blocking an air vent.

The defendant admitted the offence but Judge John O’Neill offered to strike out the charges if €500 were donated to Crumlin Children’s Hospital. Life is a funny old business; not that long ago, the herring gull was regarded as an obnoxious pest. Now a fine of €1,000 and a month’s imprisonment, can be imposed for harming one or interfering with a nest.