What kind of crowd are we?

“IT’S absolutely fucking jammed down there.”

The security guard pointed towards the swirling masses on Henry Street like a man recently returned from a war; for whom words would never communicate the horrors he had witnessed. His colleague nodded gravely, as if he had feared a day like this would come. Both wore Santa hats.

It’s best to have some sort of plan for pre-Christmas shopping. List your objectives, sketch out the quickest route, secure the goods and get out. That’s what’s best, yet it seems as if few do this. Most roll out of bed a bit too late, still dazed from the drinks the night before. Their ‘plan’ is little more than a declaration that they’ll go into town to ‘get a few bits and pieces’: an excursion that they imagine to be casual, even rather jolly; as easy as an afternoon snooze.