My fiendish plot to end scourge of chuggers

The chuggers on Grafton Street, Dublin, have now reached pest level.

I struggled up to St Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre like a salmon swimming upstream. I was harassed by nine chuggers on Grafton Street who were armed with cheesy smiles and unctuous opening gambits. I predict that there will be more chuggers then shoppers by December.

One outcome may be that when they have exhausted all their resources, they will turn on each other, taking charity subscriptions from one another until one massive Super-Chugger remains.