This duo making monkeys out of us on troika’s behalf

MONKEYS — it’s telling that after a month away from this column our furry little friends are the only ones to surprise.

Ireland’s myopic news loop, of mass unemployment, paedophile priests and James Reilly going about his job with the finesse of an angry bear rollerskating on ice, remains the same.

The only headline to induce surprise amidst the depressing norm in the past four weeks was: ‘Yorkshire Housewife Raised By Monkeys In Jungle’ — but even this proved to deliver less than it offered, as said monkeys did not actually teach the woman involved to be a worker within the home in northern England, but, rather, that is what became of her after she left their care.