Fluffy bunnies get me every time

IT’S not even Hallowe’en and there are a pile of Christmas cards on my desk.

Heaps of them, from various packages pushed through the letterbox. And not just any old Christmas cards — no, these are heart-string yankers. Labrador puppies with snow-dusted noses sending Christmas wishes; kittens playing with Christmas tree baubles; mummy polar bears licking baby polar bears; seals with saucer-sized eyes and CGI Santa hats gazing beseechingly at you.

And then there’s the 2013 calendars. Half a dozen, all sent free and unsolicited, featuring close-ups of adorable dogs, foxes, monkeys, lions, elephants, bears, white mice, chickens, badgers, tiny pink piglets, baby horses and the fluffiest of fluffy bunnies. And catalogues, full of dogs bouncing through woodland, horses galloping in meadows, fox cubs sunbathing, deer innocently nibbling leaves… it’s unbearable. As are the prices of the stuff that the catalogues are selling. Do I really want a save-the-badger dressing gown or a hand-crafted bird feeder? Would I like to rewrite my will leaving everything to the donkey sanctuary?