“I’m Noelle and I’m a bad runner”

MY NAME is Noelle and I’m a very bad runner. How bad? I knock down children. I ran over a toddler last night, and I don’t even have a vehicle.

All I have are two legs, and a view obscured by a baseball hat, for me these things are enough to do damage.

It was a classic pile-up, and I never saw it coming. One minute I was flying along my usual circuit by the river, head full of green leaves and birdsong, the next I’m gripping the railing like a drunken sailor, with a small person between my legs shrieking wildly.