“He’s filling a god-shaped hole with aloe vera”

MY SISTER, whom I am visiting in Sligo, has been embarrassed into attending a “unique social event” by a male work colleague.

Ever since I arrived at her house, she, in turn, has focused her energies on embarrassing me into attending with her.

So it is that we find ourselves sitting side by side in her colleague’s house, with nine other resigned strangers.