“Oh my god... you put Play-doh in your ears”

I’M VISITING my youngest sister.

She, her husband and I creep around the house all evening shushing each other. If we so much as boil the kettle or clink a glass their oldest child shouts “shhh. I can’t get to sleep” down the stairs and wakes the little ones up.

I’d forgotten how similar the routine of putting four small children to bed is to drowning rubber ducks: down they go and up they pop on a two hour loop. Practical solutions are needed and it just so happens I have one.