Death is a grave matter, but it’s hell on earth if you don’t make a will

THREE weeks into the new year, we are faced with a deluge of disastrous news. Dell, Waterford Wedgwood, Chartbusters and Kostal have all rationalised.

The next monthly unemployment figures will top 300,000. The public finances are in freefall with a potential €20 billion gap between spending and revenue.

Our banking sector is in apparent meltdown, with the nationalisation of Anglo Irish and the fragile recapitalisation of AIB and Band of Ireland.

If you’re not depressed, you don’t understand the situation. Some sectors have sought exemption from sharp economic correction because “they did not cause the problem”. Anyone who thinks they or their family will escape a significant drop in living standards is delusional. Enough of politics and economics.

Even in normal times, psychologists say mid-January is the most despondent time of year. Memories of the festive cheer have faded. New Year’s resolutions have been abandoned. The winter blues have not yet made way for the brighter springtime. What better time to confront Ireland’s greatest taboo?

All our problems are put in proper context when we consider our own mortality: 30,000 people die each year in Ireland.

The challenge of dying, death and bereavement is our greatest private fear. To be told you are terminally ill provokes a chain reaction of shock, anger, sadness, denial and rejection.

None of us is going to get out of here alive. Death awaits us all. The inexplicable horror of suicide, homicide or a child’s demise compounds the pain. As a society we rarely converse about death. It’s too morbid.

Like most children I was brought up by my parents to say my prayers before getting into bed at night. In my teens I dispensed with the habit. I am a poor attendee of church services — Christmas, Easter and essential occasions.

In times of panic (maybe a massive betting liability), I would say a quick prayer. If I was told by a doctor I was going to die, I would definitely make up for lost time. Faith is the best antidote to imminent death. All of us deserve peace at our end, regardless of religion.

Our failure to confront our inevitable demise has led to two enormous problems which need to be confronted.

Firstly, the nature and circumstances of many people’s passing is often without dignity and even in pain. Secondly, inheritance and succession can be disastrous if you die without making a will. The actor Gabriel Byrne has said: “Five times in my life I’ve sat at the bedside of a friend or relative dying in a crowded Irish hospital ward, appalled at the lack of privacy and dignity endured by both the dying and their loved ones”.

More than six out of 10 people die in hospital. The Irish Hospice Foundation was set up in 1986. It provides palliative care for 6,000 patients each year: 95% of these patients have cancer. There are serious deficiencies in the coverage of their care. Twelve counties have no hospice care at all. Other terminal conditions such as lung disease, heart failure and dementia are not catered for, despite being beyond cure. Within many community and acute hospitals there isn’t a programme of hospice principles.

I have reflected on my personal death preference — quick, painless and preferably in my sleep. Even harder than dying is confronting incurable disease. The thoughts of dying are as bad as the act.

We all know of cancer patients who visibly deteriorate before our eyes and have to face the emotional trauma of the inevitability of death. While worse for those left behind, to be dead before you know it has its compensations.

Our acute hospitals and their staff are rightly focused on treating and curing those in their care.

A point is often reached where no more can be done. The condition is inoperable or fatal. For many the patient’s overriding wish is to die at home.

One’s home is one’s castle, fiefdom and haven. It embodies much of our life story. It’s private and comforting. Yet, if you need oxygen and intravenous morphine, dying at home may not be possible.

I would like to bring to your attention a newly-established forum on End of Life in Ireland. They’re seeking submissions before February 20. These can be emailed to [e-mail] or Paul Murray, Forum Coordinator, Irish Hospice Foundation, 32 Nassau Street, Dublin 2.

This is a year-long process involving a series of regional consultations. A final report will be published at the end of April 2010 which will be a blueprint for action. Almost 100 organisations are being approached to participate.

Marian Finucane is the chairperson of the forum. This opportunity should not be missed. We must make a success of this project and seek minimum distress for predictable and expected deaths.

I recently read the book Inheritance & Succession, The Complete Irish Guide. This was written by John G Murphy and Jason Dunne and printed by Liberties Press. It has become a bestseller. I would strongly recommend it as a practical commonsense manual to dealing with all aspects of succession planning.

I have yet to attend a funeral where the hearse had a trailer attached. The deceased can’t bring their wealth with them to the afterlife.

Anyone with assets, be it a house/property, shares or a business, will be subject to the Succession Act of 1965 if they do not put their affairs in order.

I was shocked to find that half of all eligible people have not made a will. Only two out of 10 people have identified their successor.

This raises really serious problems for self-employed and business people. If you have a spouse and children and die intestate, the assets will be divided up on the basis of two-thirds to the spouse and one-third divided in equal shares to each child.

IF YOU fail to appoint an executor, there could be chaos. It is a recipe for warfare among the remaining family.

Even worse, the taxman may get his greedy mitts on an unnecessary share.

Many options exist in relation to joint ownership, the appointment of an enduring power of attorney, proper tax planning or the establishment of a trust. The superstition that if you make a will it could precipitate your death is false.

You can even instruct your LPR (Legal Personal Representative) about your obituary notice, funeral service arrangements and headstone epitaph. (I’ll have flowers, eulogy and brass band, but skip the gunfire volley). This book covers the A-to-Z of a proper planned departure.

In Ireland, the current life expectancy of men is 75 years and women 80 years. But this is like “guide prices” in our present housing market. You may fall short of expectations, so be prepared.

I believe the debt you owe to your parents you repay to your children. A good legacy means trying to avoid mayhem after your demise.

So, in the prevailing gloom and doom of early 2009, just remember “life’s a bitch… then you die”. To be alive and kicking ain’t all bad.