Let me be your fantasy taoiseach and I will take some radical action

BEING asked by the editor to set out what I would do if I was taoiseach in 2009 is like a fantasy football competition.

It’s virtual — not real. On the other hand, my approach is nothing if not radical.

Our political system has not responded effectively to the economic crisis. The capacity of the Dáil is questionable. TDs who are good at getting votes tend not to have business or management expertise. Some are glorified county councillors on large salaries and expenses.

So my first step would be to set up a national government and imaginary issue P45s to the incumbents. For my taoiseach’s 11 appointed senators I would select people of specialist expertise. I would then avail of the precedent of senators being appointed as cabinet ministers (remember Jim Dooge as Minister for Foreign Affairs in 1981?).

My economic team would be Michael O’Leary, Denis O’Brien and Philip Lynch. Their skill in cutting costs, growing revenue and building international business is self-evident. I would mandate them to restore Ireland’s competitiveness and increase exports.

My two non-economic priorities would be to tackle gangland crime and murder. Senator Paul Williams would be appointed Minister for Justice to invoke special powers against crime gangs. The Special Criminal Court would be used as it was previously to tackle the Provisional IRA.

Senator Maurice Nelligan, former top heart surgeon, would take charge of the health service. His priority? To refocus resources to the frontline of healthcare and rationalise health administration.

My highest priority for 2009 would be to restore stability to the public finances. I would advise IBEC and ICTU that partnership is over. Having thanked them for their two decades of service, I would explain that I was taking a new non-consensus approach to accountable elected leadership.

The €10bn gaping hole of a budget deficit would be resolved by cutting public expenditure. Extra tax revenues would only deflate the economy further. In a state-of-the-nation address I would explain that the time for talking about the country’s fiscal accounts was over and tough decisions were now urgent and unavoidable. To ensure implementation, I would transfer the secretary to the Government, Dermot McCarthy, to an ambassadorship of his choice. Instead I would appoint Colm McCarthy, chairman of An Bord Snip, to be Government secretary. This would be a precursor to cutting more than €5bn in public expenditure immediately. The largest component of public expenditure is the €19bn pay bill. The recently agreed national pay agreement would be revoked. An austerity package would be executed for the public sector. For all personnel paid in excess of the industrial average wage there would be a once-off 5% pay cut. For those on a salary in excess of €50k a year there would be a 10% pay cut.

A new system of benchmarking would be put in place whereby any grade of public servant paid above the European average for similar grades would have their pay and productivity reviewed. This would include members of Government and the Oireachtas. The state’s payroll would be reduced by a severance scheme of up to 20,000 officials identified by An Bord Snip. More than 50 state agencies and quangos would be axed and amalgamated.

The long-term cost of €45bn for public sector pensions requires drastic action. State pensions payable after 2020 would be reformed to a system of defined contributions rather than defined benefits. The relativity with contemporary pay levels would be broken. All new public sector employees would have a revised contract of employment that would remove the entitlement to permanent employment.

The National Treasury Management Agency (NTMA) would, on my instructions, replenish the €7.5bn that was taken out of the national pension reserve fund to recapitalise the banks. The NTMA would be charged with delivering a share sale and flotation plan of specific state assets over a three-year period. This would include the ESB, Bord Gais, Coillte and a selected list of air and sea ports. In some cases the state would retain a shareholding.

A programme of non-pay public expenditure cuts would be effected immediately. All public capital projects that have not reached the stage of signed contracts would be suspended. My economic team and the Government secretary would review all proposed works and subject them to a rigorous new cost benefit analysis. Their objective: to eliminate half of the cost of the national development plan.

Leading by example, all members of the Government and state boards would take a 50% reduction in their remuneration in 2009. All spin doctors, special advisers and general hangers-on would be let go and all advertising and PR spend stopped. Air travel for all ministers and public servants would be restricted throughout the year — economy class and no junkets.

Through an early mini-budget I would introduce two tax changes. Because our austerity package involves significant sacrifices by so many, it is unsustainable to continue with the existing preferential treatment of tax exiles. The Revenue Commissioners would revise the scheme for the 400 registered persons availing of the special residency arrangements. An additional annual contribution of €300m in revenue would be raised from these super rich Irish people. In order to boost employment, I would introduce a “jobs tax credit” based on an employer increasing their employees beyond their average payroll numbers of 2008. Any new staff hired for a full year would entitle them to an additional tax credit of €5,000 against the tax liability of their choice.

A key theme throughout the year would be to reform the regulatory environment for the financial services sector. The regulator and the board of the Financial Services Regulatory Authority would be dismissed and replaced by Shane Ross and George Lee whose first duty would be a significant investigation into Anglo Irish Bank.

ROSS and Lee would decide if there is a case for the DPP to pursue in relation to personal directors’ loans relating to non-disclosure or exceeding 10% of the net value of the bank. Any inappropriate links between this bank and the Dublin Docklands Authority would be fully investigated. No further public money would be put into this bank until there is an assurance of its viability and survival.

We must ratify the Lisbon treaty. Because of the disconnect between the electorate and establishment politicians, we would create a non-political communications team to advocate a yes vote. I would invite a range of columnists, broadcasters, sports personalities, entrepreneurs and artists to explain why Ireland’s national interest is best served by being at the heart of Europe. Two maestros of spin, PJ Mara and Tom Savage, would oversee the campaign with a proper budget and professional expertise.

Dublin Castle would no longer be available for state occasions in 2009. There have been enough ostentatious self-serving press conferences there. I would ask Aiken promotions and Harry Crosbie to organise concerts and other gigs there to raise revenue instead.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. To keep me entertained and provide the state with revenue I would ask the NTMA to bet €60m on Kilkenny at 8/11 to win their fourth senior hurling title and €40m on Binocular to win the Champion Hurdle at Cheltenham at 7/4.

Enough done, back to bookmaking.

Happy new year.