Hanafin gets no marks for timetable that only tests students’ nerves

(AN open letter from a Leaving Cert pupil to Mary Hanafin, Minister for Education).

Dear Minister, I fully respect the fact that the Laving Cert had to be changed but, in all fairness, it’s now a bit ridiculous.

Every chemistry student is probably cursing you because you have just given us all a much bigger test to live up to. After this year, I don’t expect many students will take up chemistry. What were you thinking?

Marks this year in chemistry will be down. If I’m proved wrong, I’ll eat my hat. Why did you put such a difficult subject with a paper that requires more effort than anything else in the Leaving Cert?

Home economics students also will be frustrated. They now have to tangle English, a priority, with social and scientific which many also feel they need a few days more to prepare for.

Tell me, do you expect an essay will be good if one is also trying to remember the functions of protein in the diet?

Minister, you’ve messed up the flow of English. You’ve confused something we’ve been working towards for years. Many thanks.

Maths on two days I applaud. On two separate days, that really is great.

It gives us a lot more time to work out differences, since the papers are so different. Putting geography with maths is offputting — it just feels wrong. Once again, a case of prioritising, I think. Glaciers and probability!

Having the Irish Listening exam on last in the day is a menace. I saw students leaving the exam hall last year and they were wrecked. Half of them were falling asleep during the tape, and God knows it is boring enough already. Not helpful.

Irish paper two and business. Together. I have to laugh here.

Minister, you talk about less writing and reducing tensions within that problematic area.

What made you put Gaeilge paper two and business together? Honours Irish students might not be happy with that, not to mind those unlucky folk who do business as well.

What were you thinking? You have placed two of the most top heavy subjects on the same day.

French now moves to the second week. I can’t see your logic, but then again I can’t complain other than to note that the language we know least (French) will now be placed at a disadvantage to Irish.

Instead of thinking in French in our Irish exams, we’ll be doing the opposite. Since Irish means so little to many people in terms of a career, I’m missing the logic in placing a European language as a second week exam.

And history. I don’t know whose idea that was, putting it with French. Great. Now we get to evaluate de Valera and contemplate varying conjugations of etre and avoir on the same day.

Je suis de Valera? Non, nous courons through rivers of Irish blood ...

I won’t be as sarcastic about biology and art, since I don’t do art. But these students won’t be very happy having to think about photolysis at the same time as considering the great works of the Renaissance.

At this stage I wonder, once again, if our Government cares at all. I realise many ministers may not remember their own Leaving Cert, and I know your heart was in the right place, but look at the following timetable, minister. Look at it, and wake up.

Wednesday, June 4: English paper one and home economics.

Thursday, June 5: English paper two and chemistry.

Friday, June 6: mathematics paper one and geography.

Monday, June 9: mathematics paper two and Irish paper one/aural.

Tuesday, June 10: Irish paper two and business.

Wednesday, June 11: French and history

Thursday, June 12: biology and art (history and appreciation)

Can you honestly say it actually makes sense? It’s laughable to think people have agreed to release this as a veritable solution to a problem that has been debated for generations.

Do you think that any student who unhappily has to tackle English, home economics, chemistry, maths, geography and Irish as their subjects will be perfectly calm come June?

Actually, forget that. Pick any variation on the above system you have so cautiously, carefully, stupidly devised. Anyone who has to sit any of those varieties of exams within eight days will live under threat of a nervous breakdown. (Oh, and I know it’s not called a nervous breakdown anymore — it’s now a “major depressive episode”. Not a whole lot better, but if we’re to have it, we might as well call it the right thing.)

Minister, you might well have a nation of screaming teenagers on your hands. I hope I’m wrong, but you’ve placed yourself on thin ice.

Did you honestly think, even for a second, that this was going to work out perfectly?

If we weren’t panicked before, we really are now. I’m laughing at the stupidity, to be honest.

I’m hearing things on the news about “lessening pressure” and, rather aesthetically, “lots of lots of writing”.

I’m chuckling bitterly at the thought of the delusions that run deep within Dáil Éireann.

Congratulations

Yours, etc,

Aisling Twomey

19 Rockboro Road

Cork