We wrap our children in cotton wool, but it’s no protection against reality

I RECENTLY was lent a baby overnight. This baby was distinguished by a sunny disposition and a willingness to give everybody and everything the benefit of the doubt.

This baby arrived with enough equipment to keep the Red Army going for several days. It had a Moses basket, a bouncy soft seat that played tunes or made womb noises or produced bird-song (we opted for womb noises because the bird song drove the cats nuts).

It had a bottle steriliser. It had nappies and wipes. It had a buggy that converted to other functions — so many other functions, you got the impression that if you read the instructions fully, you could turn it into a Sherman tank or a helicopter.