There’s fat chance of getting sense from this out-of-touch government

IT will come as no surprise to hear that the Government is going to axe the 100 people receive from the President on reaching the remarkable milestone of 100 years of age.

The reasoning is that projections into the future show that Irish people will live longer because very soon they will not be allowed to smoke, drink to excess, eat fatty foods, or stay out late on a Thursday night.

It won't be remarkable to reach the 100-year mark in the not-too-distant future; it will be the norm and the Government is worried that too many people will live to cash the cheque.

I don't know if the presidential largesse is actually going to be done away with, but it would come as no surprise if such a daft move was announced, because we have a daft Government at the moment.

Government Buildings is surely a home for the bewildered. The latest example of just how daft they are, comes in the shape of a possible fat tax on food.

Minister for Health Mícheál Martin has said he may consider introducing such a measure, so you can take it that he will. His Fianna Fáil colleague, Batt O'Keeffe, chairman of the Dáil Health Committee, confirmed that it will examine the possibility of recommending the fat tax when it holds public hearings in the autumn.

So, the chances are that the crazy conglomeration we have for a government will have this ridiculous notion enacted into law.

It's ridiculous because while the minister has expressed his concern at the fact that findings from health surveys show that 10% of Irish children are obese and almost a third overweight, it's not just fast food outlets that will be hit.

Oh no. Very soon the cost of a bit of fatty bacon to go with the cabbage will be exorbitant and you can forget about taking crubeens to a Munster final because you won't be able to afford the amount of fat on that delicacy.

In fact, they will become scarcer than tickets for the final at least if Cork is in it, but it will mean you can drink a pint without getting a surgeon to remove your hand from the glass.

Just glance around your local supermarket and you will see just how extensive and expensive this latest nonsense will prove to be.

Anything from cheese to chocolate, butter to burgers, minerals to mince, will be liable for the tax which will drive up the cost of food that people can still afford. Unless, of course, you can survive on bean sprouts and have a natural spring in the back garden. And, at the end of the day, it will do nothing to curb obesity.

Unless, that is, such a tax on so-called fat food was used to subsidise healthy food, as Dr Vincent Maher, the medical director of the Irish Heart Foundation, has suggested.

But you and I know that won't happen. The cost of a leg of lamb or a chicken will not fall if the tax is introduced, because of the good old Irish tradition of ripping off the consumer.

We must be the most ripped-off people in the EU, if not the world, and the Government is one of the biggest contributors to that state of affairs because of its swingeing tax policy.

The director of Ireland's Food and Drink Federation, Ciarán Fitzgerald, was right when he said that education on food and exercise was the best way to change lifestyles. "To put up tax even more is only going to worsen the situation whereby we become more and more uncompetitive and it costs more to eat," he added.

Some years ago a coalition government led by Garret Fitzgerald was thrown out of power because of the ridiculous proposal to tax children's footwear, when Jim Kemmy would not wear it, so to speak. Unfortunately, there are no Jim Kemmys in the present administration.

The current FF/PD conglomeration is hovering around that level of the absurd too, because it is totally out of touch with the people.

The next thing will probably be a road tax on prams and buggies, or maybe the abolition of free travel for old-age pensioners. Or both. Don't laugh, because it could happen with the present shower in government.

Just look at the recent measures brought in by Minister for Justice Michael McDowell in relation to drunkenness and it's easy to see that they are well up there in the absurdity zone.

Undercover gardaí checking up on the sobriety of punters and there's not enough gardaí properly to police our streets and rid them of criminals. It will be all right to get mugged on the streets, but don't dare smoke in a pub or have one too many. If you happen to be drunk and get mugged, don't seek refuge in a pub, which will be about the only place open, because you will commit an offence and be fined 300. Bleed to death on the street instead.

At the moment, legislation which is being drafted would see adopted people criminalised and possibly jailed for trying to find out who their parents are.

Now, when you consider that the Government is entertaining such Spanish Inquisition tactics in relation to the plight of adopted people, you can take it for granted that they are not limited by concepts of the bizarre, madness or injustice.

They are well able to embrace all three.

I had to smile wryly yesterday at a report from the Department of Enterprise, Tánaiste Mary Harney's department.

It essentially said that consumers are to blame for the high prices in this country.

Because consumers here failed to organise as well as their EU counterparts, they are left out of government decision-making and consequently Irish prices are the second highest in the eurozone.

The report said that while the development of a strong consumer lobby was primarily the responsibility of organisations that represent the interest of consumers, there was a growing concern to ensure such development was to be encouraged by whatever means possible.

Presumably, the Tánaiste would encourage us to follow the example of our fellow-Europeans in Greece and stage a national boycott on shopping for a day or two, apart from buying essentials.

Maybe we should, because then her government colleagues and even the Tánaiste herself might start to listen to the people.

The report from her department goes on to say that there should be adequate opportunities and mechanisms for the interests of consumers to be reflected in the policy-making process.

I must have been mistaken all those years when I imagined that the democratic system in this country provided for our views to be reflected through our elected representatives.

Undoubtedly, the first aim of the fat tax should be to trim the Dáil which, with 166 members, is grossly inflated when you consider they represent a couple of million people who wouldn't fill a few suburbs of London.