Spuds and kebabs are only off the menu due to political correctness

CONOR LENIHAN’s remark in the Dáil that “Deputy Higgins should stick with the kebabs” was intended as a jibe at Joe Higgins, not at Turkish workers.

“I regret the remarks made and I apologise sincerely if any offence was taken,” Conor announced shortly afterwards.

In politics it is not generally smart to highlight the achievements of opponents, which is what Conor did. People can spend a whole political career without ever making the kind of impact that Joe Higgins has made in helping to expose the mistreatment of Gama workers.

The Turkish workers have won friends and admirers wherever they have worked. People have been lavish in praise of their industry and efficiency. An ambulance driver says that he can tell a Gama road when driving his ambulance, because the road is so much smoother.

The workers engaged in community projects that won the respect and admiration of local people, with the result that the country as a whole was shocked that Gama was so shamefully exploiting its employees in our midst. The workers have public support, and the Irish Government will have to answer to its own electorate if it does not ensure that those workers get their full entitlements.

Joe Higgins can be proud of his role in highlighting the exploitation of the workers. Although elected from a Dublin constituency, Joe is a culchie, and is probably quite proud of it, seeing as he is from Kerry. On this one issue he has accomplish more than fellow Kerryman Tom Ellistrim Snr achieved in over 46 years in the Dáil. It is often suggested that the only thing that the original Tommy Mac ever said in the Dáil was “close the window, we’re in a draught”.

Of course, he did not say that, because there are no windows in the Dáil but if he had said, it would have been one of his most memorable contributions.

While he had a great record in the War of Independence, he was just lobby fodder in Leinster House. But then there is a saying that nobody ever talked their way into the Dáil, but many people have talked their way out.

Some years ago Charlie Haughey made a remark about Alan Shatter being Jewish, but he apologised next day, and the jibe was never published.

That was the end of it. Nowadays, the media would never pass up such an opportunity.

Fine Gael made a faux pas in 1991 in trying to target Ned O’Keeffe with a skit by Twink at a mini convention. The televised skit went over the top and it was the party leader John Bruton who ended up in the soup for laughing. Early in his reign as party leader Enda Kenny told a joke in which he quoted a black man who used the “n” word. Maybe it was a bad joke, but that was it.

I remember being in a cafeteria line behind a black student at university in Texas one day when one of those behind the counter said to him, “Hey, nigger, you’re not gettin’ served here.” Everybody laughed, including the black student, because it was obviously a kind of in-joke between two friends. The person who said it was just as black as the person to whom he was speaking.

“I dunno what you’re laughing at, whitey,” he then said to me, “’cause you not gettin’ served either!” We were both served; he was only joking.

Making an issue of such things is a crazy form of political correctness.

WORDS are not offensive in themselves: It’s the way they are used that can make them offensive.

The black comedian, Dick Gregory, entitled his best selling autobiography, Nigger. The book, which sold over seven million copies, was dedicated to his mother with the explanation that henceforth “whenever you hear the word ‘nigger,’ you’ll know they’re advertising my book”.

“To listen to some people in politics, you’d think ‘nice’ was a four-letter word,” David Steel, the British Liberal leader once exclaimed. Some individuals say the most outrageous things just to court publicity.

“I’m quite deliberate sometimes about getting into the tabloid press and on TV because I think that if responsible politicians don’t do it, then irresponsible ones will,” Edwina Currie said back in 1983.

Now you know why she bragged about having an extramarital affair with Prime Minister John Major!

Irish people are frequently called “Micks” in the United States, or “Paddies” in Britain. I have been called both abroad, but I never felt the least insulted. My response was to say that there are really only two kinds of people in the world - the Irish and those who wish they were.

Gerry Ryan was quick to point out on his RTÉ radio programme that Irish people all over the world are called “spud”. Only very insecure people would take offence.

Jim “Spud” Bolger was Prime Minister of New Zealand from 1990 to 1997. His parents emigrated from Co Wexford on their wedding day in the early 1930s.

It is not an insult to call anybody a kebab, especially in the land of the potato.

At the televised funeral of Tip O’Neill, the former Speaker of the US House of Representatives, his son told the congregation that his father always thought it was appropriate that Ronald Reagan’s ancestors came from Ballyporeen, which, he said, meant “the valley of the small potato”.

This was not an insult to the people of Ballyporeen, much less the people of Ireland. It was a joke, and it was the first time I ever heard infectious laughter in church at a funeral.

In 1981 Robin Barrington, the press officer at the American embassy in Dublin, caused a bit of a stir when he mistakenly inserted copies of one of his private letters into the press handout on Ronald Reagan’s inauguration as President.

Barrington complained that Ireland was “pretty small potatoes compared to the other countries of Europe”.

“Ireland has food and climate well matched for each other: dull,” Barrington continued his undiplomatic missive. “I came to gain a great appreciation of the similarities and differences between the inscrutable Irish and the insufferable English.”

Of course, some people were highly indignant, but Ambassador William Shannon caught the proper mood for the moment. “The Irish are famous for their sense of humour,” he said. “I think I shall have to rely upon it in this instance.”

To put Conor Lenihan’s remark in its proper place, one should consider some of the other famous gaffes. Following President Charles de Gaulle’s retirement as President of France, former British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan and his wife visited the de Gaulles in Paris.

“What are you looking forward to now?” Dorothy Macmillan asked.

“A penis,” Madame de Gaulle replied.

“My dear,” General de Gaulle interrupted, “I think the English don’t pronounce the word quite like that. It’s not ‘a penis’, but ’appiness’.”