'God knows how anyone has an affair with a human the lying is bad enough when it’s only a bike'

MONDAY. I’ve been having a secret love affair for two weeks but have managed to keep it on the down-low. Heaven forbid my husband should ever discover that I’ve fallen in love. With an old bike.

He’d have all sorts of ideas for me if he knew I’d been cycling around town, trying not to shout: “I’M TEN! UNTRAMMELED! AND FREE! WHO KNEW!”

Yes, there’d be all sorts of ideas coming my way that would need to be nipped in the bud. Like cycling from Malin to Mizen in a force nine gale for example, which he’s just done in no time at all. Much better to carry on behind his back- whizzing round corners — bumping up kerbs and skidding to stops just for the fun of it — and keep what I’ve discovered, that cycling is simplicity and simplicity is happiness, to myself.