Life skills help college students stay the course
Life lesson: If a student has a part-time job while studying, they are able to contribute in a defined way to the costs of attending college. Photo: iStock
Getting accepted onto a college course could be described as the end of one journey. It is often a goal that students have been working towards for at least 2 years. While our young people are very well prepared to get this far, little or no preparation has been done for the next stage of education, where the rules are completely different.
Navigating this transition can be tricky as students go from being surrounded by adults guiding them to success to having to self-manage all aspects of their studies, as well as managing their own finances, new social situation and wellbeing.
According to Joan Broderick of Pathways.ie, both parents and students need to prepare for the transition to college in order to help the student meet all of the new challenges ahead, with the aim of finishing the course and avoiding costly pitfalls.
She points to the 9.3% of students not progressing to second year, which is a lot of unhappy students and families. These students, she says got the points to do the course, so it’s rarely an academic issue causing the withdrawal.
With almost 30 years working in second and third level education, and as a parent herself, Ms Broderick has seen the same difficulties arise year after year. Here she outlines the main issues parents, guardians and students need to be looking at now to smooth the way through third level.
“Supports in college are very good and families should find out about all of the different ones that are available,” explains Ms Broderick.
Those supports range from academic support to counselling and health care. However, it can take significant effort, especially for a first year student, to find them.
Have the money conversation early. Have clarity about who pays for what. If a student has a part-time job, they are able to contribute in a defined way.
Colleges refer to time management as one of the most important skills in third level. It is now completely up to students to be on time for lectures and to meet assignment deadlines.
“It’s so busy and buzzy at the start of the year, when students hear about time management supports available they think ‘I don’t need that.’ Then come November they can struggle and maybe miss their deadline,” says Ms Broderick.
Spending hours every day commuting can end up being too much for a student. Consider studying closer to home. Focus on the course, not which college to study at.
Rather than have to travel home every weekend to a part-time job, students living away from home might consider finding work close to college or on-campus.
Also, the kind of work matters. “It’s better to walk dogs, or babysit than work in a nightclub where you’re exhausted the next day,” explains Joan Broderick. In retail, keep in mind that these employers look to fill extra hours in the lead up to Christmas, which coincides with Christmas exams and assignment deadlines.
According to Ms Broderick, students often have little experience dealing directly with professional adults and communicating by formal email.
To start the ball rolling, she recommends encouraging students to make their own medical appointments for small issues.
Learn how to cook, clean up and manage your hygiene. You do not want to be the smelly student/housemate nobody wants to sit beside because you haven’t washed your clothes.
Isolation and loneliness are common among first year students who may not know anyone else in their year or at their college. The trick is to find places to go where you are welcomed just as you are, and also to find people with similar interests. What doesn’t help with loneliness is leaving college as soon as your lectures are over.
Particularly in the early weeks, colleges make a big effort to create spaces for students to just hang out and meet their peers. These spaces have expert staff or trained fellow students on hand to answer any questions or concerns first years might have. For some it can be easier to reach out to a fellow student than to knock on a door. The University of Limerick, for example has their First 7 Weeks program to help students settle in.
An excellent way to combat isolation and bring joy, Joan Broderick recommends joining one club/society for an existing hobby and one to try something new.
Parents and students need to know where to go for help within the college. Student Support Services offer confidential support that does not go on the student’s record. Help available includes career guidance, chaplaincy, counselling, academic support, financial support in certain cases, and support for specific learning needs.
“If a student can come and ask for help, one small intervention can be all that’s needed. They can reach out via email or in person, whichever way gives them the confidence to get through the door,” says Ms Broderick. “Even if you go to the wrong service, they are all connected and you will get the help you need,” she says.
A student may hate their course and want to withdraw but is afraid to say anything at home. It is up to parents and guardians to ask them if they are happy to continue with their course.
Joan Broderick puts a specific timeline on this.
“Put a reminder in your phone so that 10 days before the 31st October deadline for withdrawing from college without financial penalty, ask your child if they are ok. If they are not happy, this allows time to discuss what’s going on and either ask for help through the college, or formally withdraw from the college course,” she says.
Withdrawing after October 31st means that the student will have to pay at least 50% of the tuition fees of any new third level course they may wish to start. That rises to 100% of tuition fees if they delay the decision until after January.
Helicopter parenting at this stage is unhelpful.
Parents at this stage should take on a mentor role, not be a constant problem solver. They need to step back more, listen more and ask thoughtful questions.
“When your child comes to you with a problem, think how would a mentor ask a question. Don’t jump in with solutions but ask, who have you asked about this? It’s their path and they need to develop these life skills,” explains Joan Broderick.
Stepping back more also means resisting the urge for constant contact so that we know that they are ok. Ms Broderick says that this just causes stress in the relationship. When the anxiety rises, she recommends to speak to another adult instead.
Also, agree with the student a level of contact that is acceptable to both, with the condition that the student can call any time there’s an issue. Keeping these boundaries means that parents are acting as a resource for their child as they enter this new life stage.
See www.pathways.ie
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