'My brother is a rapist, but my parents chose to believe him,' says Limerick man
Thomas Daly said he was 'forced out of the family home' after making a complaint to gardaí. Picture: Bredan Gleeson
A Limerick man who suffered years of sexual abuse at the hands of his older brother has said he “no longer has to listen to his lies” after a seven-year legal battle to hold his sibling to account finally ended this week.
School teacher Graham Daly was found guilty of seven offences on December 21, 2021, by a jury, but his legal team told the court he did not accept the verdicts.
On January 24, 2022, trial judge Karen O’Connor handed him down an eight-and-a-half-year prison term at the Dublin Centre Criminal Court.
However, on the same day, the school teacher lodged an appeal against both his conviction and the severity of his sentence.
His conviction appeal was dismissed in November 2023, and his sentencing appeal was rejected last Tuesday.
The court of appeal’s judgement noted how the legal process had been before the courts since July 2017 when Graham Daly, now 40, was first charged with abusing his brother.
Speaking to the this week, Thomas Daly, 35, said: “I was really upset when I heard he was appealing everything. But I am glad it is all over. I just want to get on with my life.
“He refused to admit what he did to me and that has caused more pain for me. I suffered with nightmares and trauma for years and still do.
“I’ll never forget the distress he caused but, in the end, I am vindicated”.
Thomas was just ten years old when the abuse began in his family home in Limerick in 1998 and went on until 2002.
The court heard that several incidents took place at various locations across two counties in Munster, but mostly in the family home in Raheen Co Limerick.
During his evidence in December 2021 Thomas, who was cross-examined for three and a half days, said the sexual abuse he was subjected to included sexual touching, oral rape, and an anal rape.
“I didn’t realise until I was a teenager when we were having sex education classes that this was wrong,” Thomas said. “But I couldn’t tell anyone. I was very ashamed and confused, this was my brother.”
By the time he disclosed the assaults to his parents, Thomas was 28 years old, and Graham Daly had left the family home to pursue his career in teaching. A few weeks after making the disclosure to his family on Christmas Eve 2015, Thomas reported the abuse to the gardaí in Limerick while accompanied by his father, Gerard.
However, the relationship between him and his parents ended soon afterward.
In court, Thomas broke down and sobbed audibly several times during his testimony, while Gerard, and Thomas' mother Patricia, who gave evidence against him, sat in the gallery listening.
During cross-examination, Thomas Daly said he felt tortured by some of the questions, but bravely told his story.
His brother Graham Daly also took the stand and denied the abuse. He claimed Thomas was jealous of his success as a teacher and that his younger brother had vowed to get revenge because Graham had outed him for being gay.
“Being in that stand was one of the hardest things I ever had to do,” said Thomas. “It is so hard, nobody knows unless they’ve been in that seat."
Throughout the hearing, Graham Daly was clean-shaven and smartly dressed in a suit and took notes in the dock.
However, on December 21, 2021, the jury found him guilty of seven charges of rape and sexual abuse and he was taken into custody ahead of his sentence hearing.
When he returned to court on January 17, 2022, he was dressed in a tracksuit and was unshaven with tossed hair.
His barrister, Colman Cody SC, said Graham Daly had been diagnosed with “stress and trauma” and had an emotionally unstable personality disorder.
His client also told him he has schizophrenia, but there was no report before him to show the court.
Before Judge Karen O’Connor retired to consider her decision, Thomas Daly delivered a powerful victim impact statement and said he felt “shame and confusion” over the abuse.
Despite assurances of family support, he described how his relationship with his parents “deteriorated” following his complaint to the gardaí.
He said he was “forced out of the family home” and that his father had told him, “with you gone, all our troubles are over”.
Speaking directly to his brother, he said: “I sometimes wish you had killed me rather than abuse and rape me, because no matter what happens here today, I’m the one left with the life sentence for what you did to me, not you”.
Throughout his victim impact statement, his mother Patricia spoke loudly at the back of the court.
She then shouted “We love you Graham” when the prison officers led her older son away.
Sentencing was adjourned to January 24, 2022, when Judge O’Connor jailed Graham Daly for eight and a half years but said had he been an adult at the time of the offences, the headline sentence would have been 13 years.
She said he had shown no remorse for his actions and never apologised to his victim. You were “a big brother who should have protected his younger brother”, she said.
On Tuesday morning at the Court of Appeal, Justice John Edwards, Justice Patrick J McCarthy, and Justice Úna Ní Raifeartaigh said they were dismissing Graham Daly's second application against the severity of the sentence.
Their judgment read to the court said: “This was not one-off offending. Rather, it was persistent and repeat offending over a considerable amount of time, escalating all the while in seriousness and culminating in both oral and anal rape at a point when the appellant was on the threshold of attiring his majority (he was almost 18).
“The victim was vulnerable. The age differential between offender and victim was exploited."
Tuesday marked the end of a seven-year process for Thomas.
Thomas said he sees no future where he can rebuild a relationship with his parents, but he says he can recall “good childhood memories” prior to the abuse.
“My father used to throw me up in the air and pretend I was Superman when I was little. My mother and I used to watch and together. We did get along but they took Graham’s side and I have to move on from that now. It was easier to go against me than believe their eldest son is a rapist paedophile.
“Some days I regret coming forward and some days I don’t. It took seven years to finish, and I often felt like I got lost in the case. I just want my life back without any more stress. The gym keeps up my mood and I want to give some hope to others in my position. I had nobody, but I still succeeded in the end."
Thomas was supported by his fiancé Dean Tier along with Dean’s grandmother, Anne O Brien, throughout the case and thanked them both in his victim impact statement.
The pair now hope to get married later in the year and move on with their lives.
Mr Tier told the : “The whole experience is emotionally traumatising for anyone. It’s a constant battle for the right reasons. I hope anyone suffering speaks out because they are a lot stronger than they think, they are already survivors — they just don’t know it yet.”
Dublin Rape Crisis Centre CEO Rachel Morrogh said: “We know from our support of survivors in the legal system that there are several issues involved that negatively impact victims and survivors. Many try to prepare by seeking therapy and counselling or get support from organisations around attending court. It is very common for people to experience trauma symptoms — stress, flashbacks, problems with sleeping, problems with concentrating, and anxiety — around the trial process.
“The thought of being in the same room as the accused and giving evidence is very daunting for survivors.
- If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please click here for a list of support services.
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