Micheál Martin roundly praised for 'heartbreaking interview' about the loss of his children
Taoiseach Micheál Martin with his wife Mary and family Aoibhe, Micheál Aodh and Cillian. Picture: Denis Minihane
Tributes have been paid to Taoiseach Micheál Martin after his “heart-breaking” interview in which he talked about the deaths of two of his children.
Mr Martin, in a lengthy interview on parenting, detailed the pain and suffering felt by him, his wife Mary and their remaining children after the cot death of five-week old Ruairí in 1999 and the tragic death of eight year old Leana in 2010.
In probably the most moving question in the parenting interview, when asked how many children he has, Mr Martin replied: “You will always say that you have the kids that you lost.”
He makes clear in the interview that he did consider walking away from politics given their double tragedy but ultimately decided to remain and also to challenge to become leader of Fianna Fáil.
Of his son’s death, Mr Martin said: “Ruairí died of a cot death after five weeks, which was utterly devastating. A trauma of that kind never hit me until then, so your certainties kind of ebb away a bit. What I always say is that Micheál Aodh and Aoibhe took us through that, because when you have children and you endure trauma like that, you have to get up the following day.
“In the aftermath of that you’re obviously knocked out: you’re very, very down. You feel for quite a while that your spirits will not lift. It was April 1 he passed away. The birds are singing, but you don’t want to hear that at six in the morning, and yet that’s what you hear. I thought I’d never say that I hate the sound of the birds singing. But that passes in the medium term,” he said.
Mr Martin said it was the need to parent his other children Micheál Aodh and Aoibhe which kept him going at that time.
“With Micheál Aodh and Aoibhe, I remember getting up on those immediate mornings after Ruairí, and they had children’s games to play and you’re playing with them and you’re almost going through it mechanically, but you’re still doing it, you’re getting the breakfast. They probably don’t realise, but it was they pulled us through that,” he said.
After Ruairi’s death, the Martin’s had two more children, Cillian and Leana, but Leana’s death in 2010, just as Ireland was in the throes of an economic disaster, caught national and international attention.
Many have wondered why Mr Martin decided not only to remain in politics but to challenge Brian Cowen for the leadership at a time of such unbearable loss.
“It was an awful time. We didn’t expect it. It was unexpected even though she had challenges, cardiac issues. People were very good to us. The first three weeks were a blur after Leana’s passing. Life was not meant to hit you so hard. After Leana, yes, I did weigh it up whether I’d carry on or not. I’ll reflect on that until the day I die: why do you do things? I’ve a view that it’s a certain inner thing that you keep going.
"There’s two choices in life: you either continue to stay down or you get back up again. It was very difficult at the time. I remember coming back, and at the time we had to make a decision to do a budget of €6bn, I think, and do the troika deal, and do the four-year plan. It gave me great clarity, because doing the right thing was the only thing that mattered then for the country. These are politically difficult things, but that didn’t bother me, because of what had happened,” he said.
Mr Martin said what is very important in those situations is your wider family, who were fantastic.
“They pulled us through. Brothers, my twin brother especially, and Mary’s sister, Ann, they were there for us during that very, very difficult time. And then your club matters, just getting back to those simple things, parents, Mary’s friends calling to her. Getting out exercising, getting out walking. Doing simple things,” he said.
Mr Martin has been exceedingly reluctant to speak about his loss publicly before, despite media requests for him to do so, and he made clear that his children were not okay with him speaking about Ruairi and Leana in the political arena.
“Immediately in the years afterwards, we were very conscious, and certainly the kids were, they’d go, ‘Do your politics, but don’t bring Leana and Ruairí into it’.
“Even now I’m self-conscious about that,” he told interviewer Jen Hogan.
“There’s always been a bit of us that’s held the privacy thing. On the other hand, other families go through bereavement, and you can help those. At times, you may be in a position to help, to talk to families. But everyone goes through it differently. There’s no one way of dealing with grief or trauma,” he said.
Labour leader Alan Kelly described the interview as a very honest and sensitive piece which marries loss and heartbreak with a desire for public service. “Thought provoking, timely and a story which I would advise everyone to read today,” Mr Kelly said.
SDLP leader Colum Eastwood said: “Everyone should read this today. The decency and determination through adversity of Micheál and his wife, Mary, shines through.”
Cork South-West TD Christopher O’Sullivan described the interview as “honest and heart-breaking”.
Former Fine Gael minister Jim Daly said in response to the interview: “Honesty, humility, heartbreak and humanity in abundance here. A thoroughly decent person who along with his family has privately sacrificed so much for public service.”
Mother and baby homes campaigner and Leinster House official Samantha Long said: “An extremely admirable interview, especially for one who doesn’t feel the need to parade his family’s private life. Sharing their story might give hope to others in pain.”
British politics professor Tim Bale said it was a “very moving piece about loss and love from Ireland’s PM”.
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