Think of the children - Judge implores warring couples to cut down on 'vitriol and bitterness' in custodial proceedings

By Gordon Deegan

A judge has said that all he wants to do at the end of a day at the family law court is to have a shower after listening to vitriol and bitterness from people before the court.

At the Family Law Court in Ennis today, Judge Patrick Durcan made his comment when urging a warring couple to go to mediation rather than “do battle” in open court.

Judge Durcan told the couple to go to mediation “for the sake of your children.

He said: "It is important that they are not going to be damaged or damaged as little as possible”.

“No matter how much you hate one another or don’t hate one another, you are always going to be bound together by your two young children.”

“I am getting tired of coming in here and when I finish in this court - all I want is a shower because of the vitriol and bitterness that is thrown out here.”

The judge advised the couple to reach agreement through a Courts Service mediator as they and their children will be the ones to lose out if they don’t.

Judge Durcan said: “Otherwise, you will become ugly, nasty, gnarled, bitter, embittered people.

“For the sake of your children, when you are with them, you are with them together - that you have time together with them because that is going to be part of your family always”.

Judge Durcan said that the couple’s son could hurl for Clare and the father replied "hopefully".

File photo

The Judge said: “If he does, the youngster wants the two of you supporting him together, not on either side of the pitch shouting abuse at one another or giving daggers looks to one another”.

He said that the couple’s daughter, when performing in a school play, does not want to see them on opposite sides of the school.

Judge Durcan said: “There is business you will have to do until you are buried and that is dealing with your children. You have to regulate your future.”

He adjourned the case to October 4 after the couple agreed to go to “superb mediator” Aisling Moloney.

During the court sitting, Judge Durcan granted six Safety Order applications and one Barring Order application to women.

In one case, Judge Durcan granted a Safety Order for three years to a woman who was living in fear of her alcoholic daughter.

The woman told Judge Durcan that she is afraid of her adult daughter when she is drunk.

Judge Durcan also granted a two-year Safety Order to a woman after her partner threatened to kill her while he granted a Safety Order on consent in another case to a woman where her ex-partner was harassing her by text and intimidating her.