Troy Boy launches cult career among ghosts of Cabinets past

It was a clear case of bye-bye Bertie, hello Troy Boy.

Fianna Fáil’s youngest deputy Robert Troy had plugged himself into the national grid ahead of his warm-up speech for the party leader and exploded from nowhere to become the ard fheis darling.

Helen of Troy may have launched a few ships, but the yelling of Troy launched a whole new cult of personality as the baby of the Dáil was instantly being talked up by the grassroots as a future leader.

They lapped up his jibes at Sinn Féin for brandishing “a ballot box in one hand, a cartridge in the other” and roared approval as he got stuck into Fine Gael’s Tom Sheahan for his Seanad quip that Mr Martin was “not the first Corkman to be shot in the back by a de Valera”.

The delegates whooped and rippled like a Mexican wave of hatred when he attacked the old Blueshirt enemies for “raking over the coals of the Civil War for a cheap soundbite”.

And bad boy Dev descendent Éamon Ó Cuív did not just make an entrance — he made it twice, just to ensure he got enough attention.

He swept into the auditorium for Mr Martin’s opening address as a swirl of well-wishers and media danced attendance upon him. Then he seemed to disappear, only to repeat the process a few minutes later when he finally took his seat right at the back so he could walk past as many people as possible and enjoy the smattering of polite applause.

Noel Ahern, former TD and brother of the Bert, had a much more uncomfortable evening and he cast his head down as Mr Martin tore into the ex-taoiseach in light of the looming judgement of the Mahon corruption probe.

Ex-ministers who have hidden from the public since being purged from power popped up everywhere, like people being rehabilitated into the community.

The likes of Mary “Calamity” Coughlan and Noel Dempsey — the transport minister who thought it would be a wheeze to swan off for some winter sun in Malta on the very day the country’s roads and railways descended into Arctic hell in January 2010 — looked remarkable refreshed, but then with those gold-plated pensions we pay for, who wouldn’t?

Brian Cowen slipped in through a side door to avoid any awkward questions and was given a very warm reception by FF grassroots, despite the national economic collapse over which he presided.

Though the RDS had the feel of an old people’s home day room for much of the ard fheis, Mr Martin stole Barack Obama’s trick of making sure only fresh-faced young people were in shot behind him during his TV address.

This, and the vulgarity of his appallingly loud purple and blue paisley tie, were presumably to try and deflect attention from his speech, which apart from the apology was as empty as the electorate’s well of forgiveness for the party that finally said sorry.